Went down to the USS Missouri (The Mighty MO) located in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii and took a tour and snapped some photos. Here are some of the photos. This was quite an experience. The USS Missouri shoots projectiles the size of a Volkswagen Bug up to 30 miles. Wow! Also it was quite a thing to stand on the exact spot where the Japanese signed their surrender to World War II in Tokyo Bay. If you ever get the opportunity, definitely go visit the USS Missouri and take in the whole experience.
Took a tour of the USS Bowfin in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. Here are some of my photos from that experience.
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for ‘Bear Removers.’He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then, I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.
“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’
Some old men can still think fast.
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend a fortune.
‘Well,’ said the clerk, ‘I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’s been trained to give blowjobs!’
‘Blowjobs!’ the woman replied.
‘It hasn’t been proven but we’ve sold 30 of them this month,’ he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it’s true…no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy’s ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
‘What are you two doing at this hour?’ she asked. The husband replied, ‘If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone.’
