Month: August 2009

Old Fart Football

Dave

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‚ÄòSeven Points.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says ‚ÄòTouchdown, tie score.’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides.

Related Posts

Example of “Bitter Sweet”

Dave

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, that’s a bunch of crap; I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said, “You have the biggest penis of all your friends.”

Related Posts

Pants and Panties

Dave

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, ‘Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, ‘Here, try these on..”

She did and said, ‘These are too big. I can’t wear them.’

I replied, ‘Exactly… I wear the pants in this family and I always will.’ Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

‘Hmmm,’ said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, ‘Here, try these on..’

She tried them on and said, ‘These are too large.. They don’t fit me.’

Mike said, ‘Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don’t want you to ever forget that.’

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, ‘Here, you try on mine.’

Mike did and said, ‘I can’t get into your panties.’

Karen said, ‘Exactly. And if you don’t change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.’

Related Posts

A Powerful Message from Stevie Wonder on Michael Jackson’s

Dave

This is quite touching.

……. .. ‚ ‚ .. ‚..
.. . . ‚ . . . . . .. . .. ‚. .. .. . ‚ . .
… … .. … … … …. …. …… … … … …. ….. .. .
.. . . ‚ .. . . . ..
… . …. … …. …. …
…… …. …. …. ….. ….. ….. .. . . …. ….
. .. .
. . .. . .. . …
……. … … … .. … ……. … .. …. … … ….. ….
. .. .. .
.. ….
.. . . . . . .. .. ‚ ..
.. …. .. … … ……. …… …..
Deep stuff, huh?
I nearly cried when he said, ‚. .. . . . .. .. ‚ .. … . . …. ….‚

Related Posts