Month: May 2013

Humor

Revenge

Dave

A student is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl sat by a table alone: -“Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied with a loud voice: -“I DON ‘T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”

All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said with a laugh: – “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy then responded with a loud voice: -“$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? . . . THAT ‘S TOO MUCH!”

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered in her ear: -“I study law, and I know how to screw people!”

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Humor

Chicken Farmer

Dave

A chicken farmer went to a local bar sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” the farmer says, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”

“This is a special day for me too, I’m also celebrating!” says the woman.

“What a coincidence” says the man.

As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”

“My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I’m pregnant!”

“What a coincidence,” says the man… “I’m a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally laying fertilized eggs.”

“That’s great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?”

“I used a different cock,” he replied…

The woman smiled and said, “What a coincidence”…

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Humor

Robot for Sale

Dave

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, “I did some schoolwork.”
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”
Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”
Son says, “Toy Story.”
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”
Dad says,”What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.”
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says,”Well, he certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

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