7 Reasons Not To Mess with Children

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.   Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’. The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’ The little girl…read more

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Square Testicles

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000′. The president was…read more

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The Polish Divorce

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete. I don’t…read more

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Taking Advantage

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

The madam opened the red light district brothel door in youngstown ohio and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked.. “I want to see sandy,” the man replied.. “Sir, sandy is one of our most expensive ladies of the nite. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam. “No, I must see sandy,” he replied. Just then, sandy appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out…read more

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Traffic Ticket

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Nowhere, Tennessee . He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Tennessee deputy’s expense. The deputy says, ‘License and registration, please.’ ‘What for?’ says the lawyer.. The deputy says, ‘You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.’ Then…read more

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Bubba

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, “Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin People to git cancer?” “Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer. “And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants Fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all Them burgers an fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?” “Sure is, Bubba.” “And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she Was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?” “Yep.” “And that football player sued that university when heGradiated and still…read more

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How To Get Kicked Out of The Air Force 101

Posted by in Events, Humor/Jokes

Who says AF people aren’t a little wild… When it gets hot outside on the flight line, people get a little crazy!! A few days ago somebody found a pic of a KC-135 guy marshaling a jet in his underwear. The next day Airman Jerknuts of our grand 34th AMU decided to out do the tanker guy. I think our guy won! The chief lost his mind over this. He read 11 people their rights and they all lawyered up. The chief confiscated a bunch of cameras (not before the…read more

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Italian Lawyers

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

A professor of law had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, “Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the land owners for lots of money?” Told it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the professor asked if they had decided to go to America to practice law. “No, no,” one replied, “We want to go…read more

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3 Certainties

Posted by in Humor/Jokes

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 60s or early 70s. “Can I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Natalie” the man replied. “Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else.” said the madam. “No. I must see Natalie” was the man”s reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one hundred dollar bills and…read more

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