Scottish Diplomacy

Posted in Humor/Jokes on September 29th, 2011 by Dave

The following is a true bit of Scottish Diplomacy:……….One thing about blokes from Scotland is that their hearts and humour are always in the right place! Jimmy MacDonald, a City Councillor from Glasgow , was asked on a local live radio talk show just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.

His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.

HIS STATEMENT:

‘If hooking up one raghead terrorist’s testicles to a car battery gets the truth out of the lying little camel shagger to save just one Scottish soldier’s life, then I have only three things to say : Red is positive, Black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet.’

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Globalization

Posted in Humor/Jokes on July 5th, 2010 by Dave

Question:
What is the true definition of Globalisation?
Answer:
Princess Diana’s death.

Question:
How come?

Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scotch whisky, (produced in Scotland) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a New Zealander, using American Bill Gates’ technology, and you’re probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Samoan watersiders, and trucked to you by Afghani illegals……That my friends, is Globalization!

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