10 Things a Man Would Never Say

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother.
9. While I’m up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Her tits are just too big.
6. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on ”Murder, She Wrote” gives me a woody.
4. Sure: I’d love to wear a condom.
3. We haven’t been to the mall for ages; let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. Hell with Monday Night Football, let’s watch Murphy Brown.
1. I think we’re lost; we better pull over and ask directions.

A man has 27 parts that don’t work for him.

20 nails that don’t nail
1 belly button that doesn’t button
2 tits that don’t milk
1 cock that doesn’t crow
2 balls that don’t bounce
1 ass that doesn’t do any work

So what are you women smiling at? You have a pussy that doesn’t catch mice!

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