Category: Humor/Jokes

Circumcised?

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him …

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Air Traffic Humor

Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o”clock, 6 miles!” Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!” 2.) One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back …

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The Prisoner

A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but all he finds is a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair. While …

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Breakfast

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my Gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to …

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Red Skeleton’s Tips for a Happy Marriage

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding …

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Olympic Commentators, OOPS!

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.” 2. Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I …

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Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple, totally devoted to each other, who had been happily married for years. The only wee problem in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise wakes his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp …

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Video Games Don’t Affect Kids

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Some thoughtful information for those who are daughters, were daughters, have daughters, intend to have daughters, or intend to date a daughter. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front …

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Good to be a Man

– Your last name stays put. – The garage is all yours. – Wedding plans take care of themselves. – Chocolate is just another snack. – You can be president. – You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. – Car mechanics tell you the truth. – You don’t give a rat’s ass …

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Demotivational Posters