Category: Humor/Jokes

Yoga

Say Nothing

Fail: Hiding From Bath

If I can’t see you, then you can’t see me.

Self Perception

To Mom and Dad

Opinion?

Little Horse

Baby’s Best Friend

Weight Loss Hotline

Virgins Awaiting Muslims

Gardening

Amazing Feeling

Teenagers: Act Now!

Bed Space

Old Doberman

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in it now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on …

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Just Get In

Worry Birds

Jehovah’s Witness

Highway to Hell

Real Estate Prices Bouncing Back

Snoring Cure

Al Qaeda Pin Up Girl

Stubbornness

Shooting at Me

A Touching Moment…

This letter was sent to the Broken Hill High School Principal’s office in Broken Hill, Australia after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind. …

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Breakfast in Bed

Out of patience

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”. “Yes, I know it’s the …

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Reading

Those Sneaky Marines

Look closely … Keep looking! See it now? You have got to love the Marines.

Best Part of My Job

Children are Quick

TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’ TEACHER: No, that’s wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but …

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Vegetarian

British Humor is Different

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS, …

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Canadian Waterskiing

Did You Know?

1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes. 2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years. 3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. There’s a 9% …

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Any Drugs?

They walk among us!

1.They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became …

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Having a Bad Day?

How’s Your day Going? Hope it’s way better than these people experienced…….Yikes!

How to Call the Police When You’re Old

Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed …

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The Real Laws

1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. 2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 3.Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly …

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Undesirable Face Tattoo

Brings new meaning to the term, “Dickhead.”

The Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. “Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house …

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2014 College Football Humor

Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.” ______________________________________ Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday go hunting on …

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Beer!

Chinese Winnie the Pooh Fired on the 1st Day

How do you manage to get fired on the first day in a Winnie the Poo costume? By putting on your costume pants backwards.

Aircraft Maintenance Humor

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a’gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. …

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A Positive Attitude

He finally awoke from his coma, stiff as a board and in pain in the hospital’s ICU, with tubes up his nose & down his throat, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. It was obvious he’d been in a serious accident. She gave him a deep and steady heartfelt look …

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Women Golf Pro Advantage

Who says women pro golfers are at a disadvantage to men? Michelle Wie – pro golfer. Matching lavender outfit worth $2000. New pair of French sunglasses worth $500. NIKE products Endorsements worth $10,000,000. That handy gadget to hold your putter …. Priceless!!!

Betty White Advice

Always Wear Underwear