Daily Factoids

Dose of daily factoids.
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Imperial Beach, California

Went over to Imperial Beach, California today to check out the pier, the ocean, and the scenery. Here are some photos that I took while I was there. It gives a different point of view of San Diego and the surrounding area. In the photos you can see the Imperial Beach pier, San Diego, Coronado island, and Point Loma. It is a pretty nice and relaxing place to enjoy the beach.
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Poker

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les’ wife, Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Les’s wife followed and asked, “Did you see anything that you like under there?” Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, “Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.”

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Les played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 P.M. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Les’s house at 2 P.M. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 – they went to the bedroom, and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Les came home from golf at 6 P.M. And upon arriving, asked his wife: “Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?”

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, “Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.” Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, “And did he give you $500?”

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, “Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.”

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, “He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.”

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8. Life is sexually transmitted.
#7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and sex, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, or maybe years.
#4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2. In the ’60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

2016 United States Presidential Race Views

I’m an American trying to do my due diligence by paying attention to the political race that has been going on and when I look at the candidates this is what I see. Please be mindful that it is early and I haven’t had all the time in the world to research every candidate out there. I will let them filter each other out a bit, but so far these are the things I have seen.

Democrats:
Hilary Clinton – She was the secretary of state during the Benghazi attacks and did not support her ambassador in Libya at the time by providing more security when requested. She has never been held accountable for this and I personally think there is more to that story where they were running guns to the rebels through Benghazi, but I haven’t seen any real proof of that yet. She is under criminal investigation by the judicial branch, as she should be, and she is tight with Barrack Obama and wants to continue many of his terrible ideas. She had her own e-mail server and was conducting official government business on it and then she withheld e-mails an information. She obviously has something to hide and should not be trusted. She should not be allowed to possess a security clearance and this should prevent her from being a real candidate. She is out of touch with reality and quite frankly she belongs in jail. For some reason she is very slippery and seems to keep getting out of everything and from what I’ve seen it looks like this race is hers to lose. According to the polls does she have any real competition, other than herself, yet?
Bernie Sanders – Self-proclaimed socialist. He supports taking 90% of all of our income. I’ll just stop right there. The only question I have for him is what the heck are you doing in our country and working for our government?

Republicans:
Donald Trump – Successful businessman. Certainly possesses leadership qualities. Running by using his own money and therefore his vote should not be swayed by lobbyists. He’s arrogant and not very refined when he speaks, but he is a man of action and knows how to get things accomplished. He knows how to negotiate and he knows what it would take to support businesses and turn the economy around. His build a wall on the southern boarder idea is stupid. This is not Germany! I am very concerned that if he was president how many times would he open his mouth and offend or anger the allies of the United States or worse? I haven’t seen any real detailed ideas of how Trump intends to accomplish things, but I do feel he is the type of person who will select good people to surround himself with by selecting good cabinet members to get things accomplished.

Ben Carson – Successful brain surgeon. He seems to have a solid methodical way of looking at things and addressing things. He is refined and well thought out. He certainly has a good head on his shoulders. He might have some really good ideas of how to fix healthcare in the United States and propose something better than Obamacare. I don’t know how being a brain surgeon translates into a candidate for good foreign policy. I don’t know how brain surgery provides the experience for economic success.

Mike Huckabee – I’ve watched Mr. Huckabee on his Fox show for quite some time now and I like that he seems to have some common sense about him. He’s got experience as he was the governor of Arkansas. He wants to give the government a reality check and force it to start acting on behalf of the American people again. Honestly I don’t think he is going to go much further after the next debate, but I do like many of the things he says and some of the things he stands for.

Jeb Bush – Oh no! I think we need another Bush in office like we need a hole in our head. I haven’t seen any real substance from him other than he is bickering with Trump. He has stood behind and supported and defended his brother, as any good brother should. He was the governor of Florida, but spending doubled while he was governor. Recently he cut back his campaign staff which might show a sign that he doesn’t have money and needs more fundraising. If that is the case, his vote could be swayed by outside sources.

Now these are just a few candidates and things I have observed. When looking at these candidates I’m not seeing anybody with a military background or experience. Obama was a candidate with no experience and in my opinion he is the worst thing that has ever happened the United States. There is a long way to go and there are many other areas that I will be looking at when I observe the candidates, but for now have you seen something different from what I am seeing? Is my perception off or have I been seeing many of the same things that you have? Comments, feedback, and suggestions are very welcome. I look forward to any responses.

The Blonde Golfer

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, “Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, and so don’t try to coach me on how to play my shots.”

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father’s mouth was agape. “That was beautiful,” he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, “I really didn’t get into it, and I faded it a little.”

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, “Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.”

The blonde frowned and said, “It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I’ve left a tricky little putt.” She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, “I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I’d really like to break 70 on this course.

If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I’ll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.”

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, “Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.”

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. “Don’t listen to the kid, darling’, you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.”

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde’s ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, “That’s a gimme, sweetheart.”

The blonde smiled and said, “Your car or mine?”

Birds of Paradise Flower Photos

Right now I’ve got some Birds of Paradise flowers that are in bloom. I really like these flowers. They are pretty and have a distinct appearance about them. Here are a few photos I took.
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L&L Hawaiian Barbecue

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L&L Hawaiian Barbecue is so delicious. The biggest problem is that the portions are huge and it just tastes so good.

40 Years of Marriage

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:

‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish!

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…

Crenshaw Boulevard

As I drove by and saw this sign I was having “Boyz in the Hood” flashbacks.

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Halloween Jack-o-lantern by Shock Top Beer

I went to the supermarket today and there was this cool display by Shock Top beer. Personally, I’ve never heard of Shock Top before, but I think their jack-o-lantern is pretty cool. Here are a couple of photos so you can see for yourself.
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Photos at La Jolla in San Diego, California

Took a drive over La Jolla in San Diego today to check out the surf and snap a few photos. The beach wasn’t very busy. Here are some photos I took while there.

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Best Insurance Story of the Year

This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ‘in a series of small fires.’

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and won!
(Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable ‘fire’ and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the ‘fires’.

Now for the best part…

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year’s Criminal Lawyers Award contest.

Only in America…no wonder the rest of the world thinks we’re nuts.

Point Loma Nazarene University

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Drove over to Point Loma Nazarene University today in San Diego, California. Here are some of the photos that were taken around there. The thing that is so spectacular is the location. The university is overlooking the Pacific Ocean near the sunset cliffs. The views are just stunning and some of the architecture is neat too.

Ocean Beach, California

Drove over to Ocean Beach in San Diego, California today. Snapped a few photos. One is of the Ocean Beach sign as you’re driving into OB. The second one is of a painting on a wall. The 3rd is a banner of an Octoberfest celebration in Ocean Beach.

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Do Not Smack a Cop’s Horse

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Be advised that it may be in your best interest to not smack a cop’s horse.

Blood Moon

Tonight is a blood moon night, so I went outside and snapped some photos of what the blood moon looks like from where I am at. Here are a few photos I snapped of it.

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Wrong Lion

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Success

Growing up is a weird notion to wrap your mind around. As you go through life, your perspectives on almost everything will change. How you define success will change as well. Things that you thought were important at the age of 35 will be useless when you’re 65. You may not realize it now, but everything will shift.

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
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At age 12 success is having friends.
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At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
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At age 20 success is having sex.
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At age 35 success is having money.
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At age 50 success is having money.
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At age 60 success is having sex.
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At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
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At age 75 success is having friends.
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At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.
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It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not.

A Retired Person’s Perspective

1. I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
3. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she’s probably very cross.
4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you’ve just met? That’s common sense leaving your body.
6. I don’t like making plans for the day….because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.
7. I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes 1,508 days in a row.
8. I decided to change calling the bathroom “the John” and renamed it “the Jim”. I feel so much better saying “I went to the Jim this morning“.
9. Dear paranoid people, who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what’s your plan?
10. Politicians should have two terms – one in office and the other in prison.

Just remember Einstein’s comment: “There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity; intelligence has its limits.”

Aphorisms for the Year

– It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
– We have enough “youth.” How about a fountain of “smart”?
– A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
– When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
– Learn from your parent’s mistakes — Use birth control.
– Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
– If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
– We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things just get worse. Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
– Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
– Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.
– Alabama state motto: At least we’re not Mississippi.
– Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
– The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population and the majority of them don’t know that.
– “I think politicians should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate and union sponsors.”

Sunburst Yellow Squash

I just got back from the supermarket where I came across a funny thing I’ve never seen before. A sunburst yellow squash. Never knew it existed on this planet. Needless to say, I was the only person in the store taking photos of the produce. Here is what they look like.
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Man Down

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A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.

“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies.

”Put them back, we can’t afford them” demands the wife, they carry on shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.

“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: “So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price.” That’s him in Aisle 5.

McDonald’s Burger of the Month

So I was going through a box I have of old stuff from high school and I found these McDonald’s signs for burgers of the month. I can’t believe I still have these things. Before I throw them away I decided to scan them into my computer and share them because the date on these signs says 1992. If you were curious as to different McDonald’s burgers of the month from Lowell, Michigan McDonald’s, here they are. There is the Bacon Double Cheeseburger Meal, The Quarter Pounder Club Meal, and also the Mushroom Swiss Quarter Pounder Meal. To be quite honest they look pretty delicious, but the thing that made my jaw drop is look at the price of these things. $3.29? Oh how nice it would be to go back to those prices. I wonder if instead of throwing these away, I should take them to the closest McDonald’s and stick them to McDonald’s windows. Then when people start ordering these burgers the McDonald’s staff will freak out. Now that would be funny.

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The Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blond women that way? What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general…pathetically all in the name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells: “You stay out of this! I’m talking to that little shit on your lap.”

Pubs, Scots Style

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Ring Ring Ring …

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg, ‘Hello?’ ‘Hi Honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the Phone? ‘.

‘No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.’

After a brief pause, Daddy says, ‘but Honey, you don’t have an Uncle Gabe.’

‘Oh Yes I do, and He’s upstairs with Mommy in the room, right now.’

Brief Pause.

‘Uh, okay then, this is what I Want You to do. Put the phone down on the Table, Run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that. Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway. ‘.

‘Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.’

A few minutes later the Little Girl comes back to the Phone…’I did it, Daddy.’

‘And what happened, honey?’

‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit on her head the dresser and now she is not at all Moving!’

‘Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Gabe? ‘.

‘He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.

He was all scared and jumped out of the back window he and into the swimming pool. But I guess he did not know that you took out the water last week to clean it.

He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.’

Long Pause.
Longer Pause.
Even Longer Pause.

Then Daddy says, ‘Swimming pool? (Confused) Is this 486-5731?

California Hippie Van

A tell tale sign you’re in California. I was following behind this vehicle in traffic. This vehicle has hippie van written all over it. The guy who was driving it looked like he was a member of the Grateful Dead. If you can read the sticker on the back it says, “0-55 in 11 minutes.”

What Starts With “F”

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what exactly is your problem?’
Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is!  I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’

Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.  While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.  Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.

Principal:  ‘What is 3 x 3?’
Harry: ‘9.’

Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’
Harry: ’36.’

And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.  The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘Y’know I reckon Harry can go to the 3rd grade’  But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, ‘Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions…’ The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’
Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’

Ms.  Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’
The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!
Harry replied: ‘Pockets.’ to the Principal’s great relief…..

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’
Harry: ‘Pants.’

By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open… Ms. Brooks: ‘What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?’ Now the principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied, ‘Bubble gum.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?’
Harry: ‘Shake hands.’

The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question… Ms. Brooks: ‘What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?’
Harry: ‘Firetruck.’

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, ​”​Put the little bastard in 5th-Grade, I got the last seven questions wrong myself​…”

Political Correctness

For the last six odd years, almost all of the things I wanted to write or say, have been stymied by that modern term referred to as ‘POLITICAL CORRECTNESS’.. Although I consider myself reasonably fluent in English, that term was not in my vocabulary. Curiosity got the better of me so I decided to do a little research, and after two weeks of chasing fruitless leads, I found what I’d been looking for at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence Missouri. An unnamed source there sent me copies of four telegrams between then-President Harry Truman and Gen Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WW2 Surrender Agreement in September 1945.. The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war – not a word has been added or deleted!


(1) Tokyo, Japan
0800-September 1,1945
To: President Harry S Truman
From: General D A MacArthur
Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?

(2) Washington, D C
1300-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur
From: H S Truman
Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

(3) Tokyo, Japan
1630-September 1, 1945
To: H S Truman
From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz
Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

(4) Washington, D C
2120-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz
From: H S Truman
Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!

Rock 105.3 FM Banner in San Diego, Chargers Stadium

While I was at the 1st preseason game for the San Diego, Chargers on Thursday I saw a banner for Rock 105.3 FM. I thought it would be a great idea to take a photo of it and give a shout out to the awesome radio personalities over at the radio station. Eddie, Sky, Ashlee, & Thor this one’s for you.

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