I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented ‘you’re definitely going to s**t yourself’ road-kill chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes …
Tag: funny
Father’s Day
This one really touched my heart. Remember Father’s Day is Sunday June 21st. “Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in my Daddy’s computer.” “Amen.”
Dusty Underwear
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!” His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the …
A Christmas Story
Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of “Thanks Santa”–what do I hear?The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.The …
Want to Curl Up and Die?
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never. My husband didn’t say a word, he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX Pad, please! An …
Air Traffic Humor
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!” Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!” 2.) One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back …
A Little Piece of Loneliness
When you go to another place or country to visit or even live for a while, the people and culture immediately begin to grow on you. Your heart begins to open regardless of the language or cultural barrier. You begin to go out and absorb as much as you can. Even though you may not …
American T.V. Channels Suck
I was flipping through channels the other day and realized MTV really sucks. I thought the point of MTV was to play music. Hence the Music Television name. Anyway, MTV would be better off changing their name to “stupid programming and utterly retarded game shows?”. I base this opinion from numerous things. For example what …