Tag: picture

Lombard Street

Today I decided to drive down Lombard street in San Francisco, California. This road is known for being the windiest road. I thought it would be a nice novelty since I’m here in San Francisco anyway. In this first picture, I am sitting in traffic waiting to get to Lombard street and I snapped a …

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Alcatraz Island San Francisco, California

Since I was in San Francisco today I decided to take some photos from different vantage points of Alcatraz. One perspective was from Pier 39 with a flag flapping in the breeze. Another picture was from Pier 39 again, but over by the boat harbor where the sea lions were resting. The last shot was …

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Speed Trap

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter …

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School Photo

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. ‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor’.’ A small …

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7 Reasons Not To Mess with Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.   Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a …

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Mouse is Jammed

Caller : Hi, our printer is not working. Customer Service: What is wrong with it? Caller : Mouse is jammed.. Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse! Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?… I’ll send a picture.

Disorder in the American Courts

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What w as the first thing your husband said to …

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Puns

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic …

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Dictator

Great Conversation Starter

Safety Message: How to Hold on While Train is Moving

How to correctly hold on in a moving train. No, No…………………………. the old guy by the door!

I said I wanted a puppy!

Why Latin America Gets All the Rain and Not The Middle East

Any questions?

Finally, a Useful Obama Product

First came the commemorative coins, then the T-shirts, and then the plates! Now, something for the rest of us…Use sparingly…I find that it irritates my ass!

Simple Philosophy

This is a deceptively simple philosophy that I have been working on and refining for most of my life. I am delighted to say that I believe I have refined it down to its essence – sufficiently to share it with a select band of friends that may appreciate its elegance and simplicity.

Photo of a Wife

The old man goes to answer a knock at the door one evening only to find two sherrif deputy’s standing there. “Sir, are you married?” One deputy asked. “Why yes,” the old man replied “for 48 years.” “Do you have a photograph of your wife sir?” the second deputy questioned. The old man pulled a …

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Miss Kentucky Holding a Teddy Bear

Note: This is the new Miss Kentucky. The picture that will stay with her for the rest of her life: Make-up and hair style ………………. $500 New dress for the show ………………$700 Giant stuffed bear ………………………. $300 Not knowing how to hold the bear with a microphone in her hand …..Priceless!!!

Divorce vs Murder

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.” The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.” The pharmacist’s eyes got big …

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Thai Food

Today I went to a Thai restaurant in Japan. My favorite Thai food dish is called “Neung Kapow.” It is made with beef and it has chili peppers, basil, fish sauce, and oyster sauce and it is usually served over rice. This restaurant calls the dish “Khaw Kra Pow + Khai Dow” and they serve …

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Children Writing About the Ocean

1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) – If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t Have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7) 4) – Sharks …

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Passports

Dear Sirs, I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on …

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Atlanta Burger King Sign

Proof that the Atlanta city school system works! This is an actual picture of a Burger King in Atlanta.

Cajun Math

A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.” “Without numbers?” The Cajun says, “Dat is easy.” And proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” the boss asks “Ave you …

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Divorce vs. Murder

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist,¬¨‚Ćlooked straight into his eyes,and said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide.’ ¬¨‚ĆThe pharmacist asked, ‘Why in the world do you need cyanide?’ ¬¨‚ĆThe lady replied, ‘I need it to poison my husband.’ ¬¨‚ĆThe pharmacist’s eyes got big and he …

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Left Brain vs Right Brain

¬¨‚Ć Most of us would see the dancer turning counter-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it. LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć uses logic¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć detail oriented¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć facts rule¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć words and language¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć present and past¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć math and science¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć can comprehend¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć knowing¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć acknowledges¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć order/pattern perception¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć knows object name¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć reality based¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć …

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Chinaman’s Hat – Oahu, Hawaii

Today I was driving around the island and I decided to stop and take another photo of Chinaman’s hat from the viewpoint of Oahu, Hawaii. Here is the picture from that.

New Postage Stamp

The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special …

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Grey Area With Copyright Infringement

I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I don’t want to run into trouble. Lets say I create an image for a kid that looks like Nemo from Walt Disney’s movie “Finding Nemo” and somebody else sees this image and says I stole it from Disney. Is that considered copyright infringement? Especially since no …

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