Tag: shopping

Walmart Cash Registers Open

Golden Places and Smiling Faces

In Thailand there are gold stores all over the country much like this one. The people are real friendly and always willing to help you find what you are looking for. Thai gold is a real yellow gold that differs from other types of gold I have seen. They don’t sell you gold by the …

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Leninade – Get Hammered and Sickled in California

What the heck is happening in the super markets in California? I was in the super market and I came across a beverage called “Leninade” and their slogan is “Get hammered and sickled.” How the heck did something like this make its way into super markets in the United States? What kind of self-loathing, democratic, …

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Man Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife. “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies. ”Put them back, we can’t afford them” demands the wife, they carry …

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Stay!

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my …

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Where will we be in 8 years?

Ratheon XOS 2 is a second generation exoskeleton design for US army use. It allows the wearer to enhance his strength to carry heavy equipment much easier and for much longer. The world’s first virtual shopping center opened in Korea. All the products are just LCD screens that allow you to order the items by …

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Darwin Awards

Here is the glorious winner: 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions: …

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Old Man Scam **Beware**

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This one caught me totally by surprise. This is a warning for all men and I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it. It’s a ‘heads up’ for those older men who may be …

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Male Logic

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?” He replied, “They had avocados.” …

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Christmas Shopping

A couple was Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the whole place was heaving, packed with other last minute shoppers. Walking through the shopping centre the surprised wife looked up from a window display and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen. She knew they had lots still to do and she became very …

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Men

A man was granted two wishes by God, he asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa. ********************************************************* There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. Rest get married …

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Choosing a Wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new …

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Smart Ass

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up. One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some old person is going to walk by, …

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Women’s Revenge

‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. ‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked. ‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and …

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Socially Unacceptable Humor

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.” I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor – she only had …

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New Clothing Shop

There’s a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors & the value of the products increase as the …

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Woman’s Revenge

‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. ‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked. ‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me, …

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The Husband’s T-shirt

My wife was always after me to go shopping with her. Then I began wearing my favorite t-shirt. Now she doesn’t want me to go shopping with her anymore.

His and Hers Diary

Her Diary Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation …

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Hot Chili

I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented ‘you’re definitely going to s**t yourself’ road-kill chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes …

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1st Day on the Job

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…… About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the …

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Gotemba Premium Outlets

Today I wanted to drive over toward Mount Fuji to see what it was looking like at this time of year. On the way over there I happened to notice some premium outlet stores at Gotemba and it looked like a good place to stop and look around. The outlet stores must be pretty popular …

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A Heartwarming Story

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!” ‘The cop asked, ‘What’s he like?’ The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied, “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.”

Choosing a Wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new …

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E-Tail and Retail Stores

[Abstract] The purpose of this document is to provide an increased or basic knowledge and a comparison of online and retail stores. Also included in this document is a comparison of how buying a product online differs from buying a product from a retail store and which products are better suited to be sold online …

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Women!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were …

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Welcome to Walmart!

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into WalMart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The WalMart Greeter said pleasantly “Good morning, and welcome to WalMart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?” The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no they ain’t. …

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Irresistible to Women

The Blonde & The Heart Attack

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” she asks. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her …

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Strange Buzzing Noise

As a woman passes her daughter”s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?” The daughter replied, “Mom, I”m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is …

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10 Things a Man Would Never Say

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother.9. While I’m up, can I get you a beer?8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.7. Her tits are just too big.6. Sometimes I just want to be held.5. That chick on ”Murder, She Wrote” gives me a woody.4. Sure: I’d love to wear a condom.3. …

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Few Short Stories of Stupid Events

Recently, when I went to McDonald”s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don”t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don”t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was …

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