Day: March 30, 2006

Management 101

Dave

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…..but she belonged to someone else. One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you….but the girl said no. Johnny said I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend…..so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for 2,000 dollars and then pick up the money really fast, he won’t even have time to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened……She said, “The bastard used quarters!”

Management Lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety.

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Texas Drinking Rules

Dave

A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, “In Mexico our glass is so cheap we don’t need to drink from the same glass twice.”

An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, “In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don”t need to drink out of the same glass twice either.

Then Dick Cheney, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi, and catches his glass. He says, “In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.”

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