November 2005 archive

A Christmas Story

Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of “Thanks Santa”–what do I hear?The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.The …

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Too Little Info – Too Late

They enjoyed each other’s company very much and at the end of the evening. Sharon invited Jim to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together. Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other. After a …

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Cowboys Don’t Like to be Bested

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales began. The first said, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men …

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10 Things a Man Would Never Say

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother.9. While I’m up, can I get you a beer?8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.7. Her tits are just too big.6. Sometimes I just want to be held.5. That chick on ”Murder, She Wrote” gives me a woody.4. Sure: I’d love to wear a condom.3. …

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Translator

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: “What are …

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Wrong Approach

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other, “you know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get into the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my …

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Job Interview

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to apply for the job. “Ok,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is one and one?” “Eleven,” Gomer replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That”s not what I meant, but he”s right.” So he …

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