January 2006 archive

500 dollars

A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, “I want to have sex with you right now! I’ll drop 500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I will screw you from behind and …

Continue reading »

Plastic Garbage Bags

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her….”Ma’am, there are $20 bills …

Continue reading »

Rectum Stretcher

While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”To which …

Continue reading »

8 Ways to Determine A Gay Guy

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A …

Continue reading »

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Jack (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?” Melanie (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, …

Continue reading »

Yearly visit to the Dr.

I went into my proctologist’s office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave …

Continue reading »

The Marine

A Marine was attending a college course between missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The professor, an avowed atheist, shocked the class one day when he walked in, looked toward the ceiling, and said loudly, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” …

Continue reading »

Happy New Year!

We here at The Kumachan would like to wish each and every one of you a Happy New Year! We hope this upcoming year will bring you many fortunes and new endeavors. The Kumachan Staff