Month: January 2010

A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar: Cold Beer: $2.00 Hamburger:…

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (Now over 60.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do…

The madam opened the red light district brothel door in youngstown ohio and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked.. “I want to see sandy,” the…

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You…

Two men were talking. ‘So, how’s your sex life?’ ‘Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.’ ‘Social Security sex?’ ‘Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!’ Related Posts Great to Grow…

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, ‘I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.’ ‘My dear, the shrink said, ‘that’s completely natural.…

A man was in a terrible accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery since it…

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary The husband yells, ‘When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever’.’ ‘Yeah,’ she replies, ‘when…

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, “This will make you happy tonight.” He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn’t get back in.…

One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living…

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education…

Her Diary Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the…