I was sitting in the living room on what should have been a perfectly ordinary afternoon, attempting to get some work done while Pandora relaxed on the couch with her phone. Mr Whiskers was sprawled across her lap, purring contentedly, and the television was providing the sort of background noise that makes you feel productive without actually helping you accomplish anything. John Mercer was in the kitchen making coffee, occasionally opening and closing cabinets with enough enthusiasm to suggest he was either looking for something or conducting a minor renovation. Everything appeared normal, which was precisely why I found myself becoming suspicious. Pandora had been sitting in the same position for nearly forty minutes, occasionally glancing at the clock and smiling at something on her phone. She claimed she was reading a book, but I had begun to question whether that explanation accounted for all the available evidence.
Now, I should clarify that I wasn’t investigating Pandora. We’d recently had a conversation about my tendency to turn ordinary household activities into elaborate mysteries, and I’d promised to make a genuine effort to stop. Only yesterday, I’d spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to determine why she’d left a coffee mug in the sink, eventually discovering that she’d simply been tired and had an early appointment. That experience had taught me an important lesson about jumping to conclusions, and I was determined not to repeat the mistake. Unfortunately, determination and curiosity are two very different things. I could choose not to ask questions, but I couldn’t prevent myself from noticing that Pandora had checked the clock three times in approximately ten minutes. I knew this because I’d checked it immediately after each of her glances, which was not technically an investigation so much as an unfortunate coincidence involving synchronized timekeeping.
“What are you reading?” I asked casually, attempting to sound like someone who had absolutely no interest in uncovering hidden information. Pandora looked up from her phone and told me it was a mystery novel she’d started the previous evening. I nodded, which seemed like the appropriate response, but then she smiled at the screen and quickly adjusted the angle of her phone. I found that interesting. Not suspicious, necessarily, but interesting in the way that a locked door becomes interesting when someone tells you there’s nothing behind it. “Must be a funny mystery,” I observed. She explained that one of the characters had just done something ridiculous and returned to reading. I considered asking what the character had done, but remembered that normal people don’t usually require a detailed plot summary every time someone smiles at a book. Instead, I returned my attention to my laptop, where a document had been waiting for me to finish the same paragraph for the better part of an hour.
Mr Whiskers, meanwhile, was behaving in a manner that I considered worthy of observation. Every time Pandora looked at her phone, he lifted his head slightly, watched her face, and then settled back into her lap. Occasionally, she scratched behind his ears, which caused him to stretch his front paws and purr even louder. This was perfectly normal feline behavior, except that he seemed unusually interested in remaining exactly where he was. Ordinarily, Mr Whiskers spends his afternoons moving between the couch, the windowsill, and whichever chair someone has recently vacated. Today, however, he appeared committed to Pandora’s lap with the determination of a security guard protecting an important witness. I briefly wondered whether he’d noticed something about her behavior that I hadn’t. Then I remembered that cats are primarily motivated by warmth, comfort, and the possibility of food, which made his continued presence considerably less mysterious.
John emerged from the kitchen carrying his coffee and immediately noticed me watching the couch. He followed my gaze to Pandora, who was still reading, and then looked back at me with an expression of weary recognition. “What is it this time?” he asked. I told him that nothing was wrong and that I was simply appreciating the peaceful atmosphere of our home. He glanced at my laptop, which had been displaying the same unfinished paragraph since he’d entered the kitchen, and raised an eyebrow. “You’re staring at Pandora like she’s about to confess to something,” he said. I informed him that this was an unfair characterization of my behavior. He took a sip of coffee and suggested that I try looking at my computer instead of my girlfriend. I thought this was a reasonable suggestion, although I couldn’t help noticing that he hadn’t offered any explanation for her repeated clock-checking. Then again, he hadn’t been asked for one, and I was trying very hard to keep it that way.
A few minutes later, Pandora shifted on the couch and glanced toward the hallway. Mr Whiskers immediately raised his head, and for one extraordinary moment, both of them appeared to be looking in the same direction. I looked too, naturally, because when two members of a household suddenly focus on the same empty hallway, it seems irresponsible not to check. There was nothing there except the little table near the front door and a pair of shoes that John had promised to put away three days earlier. Pandora returned to her book, but Mr Whiskers continued staring. I began to wonder whether someone was expected to arrive. Perhaps Pandora had arranged a delivery, or maybe Mrs Jenkins was planning to stop by for a visit. Mrs Jenkins occasionally brought treats for Mr Whiskers, and he had developed an impressive ability to recognize the sound of her approaching footsteps. If she was coming over, that might explain why he seemed unusually attentive. Unfortunately, it did nothing to explain Pandora’s behavior, unless she was also expecting something from Mrs Jenkins.
I decided to test my theory without actually asking any investigative questions. “Are we expecting anyone today?” I asked, which I considered a perfectly ordinary household inquiry. Pandora looked up and said she didn’t think so. I nodded and returned to my laptop, satisfied that I’d gathered useful information without violating my promise. Unfortunately, the answer created a new problem. If nobody was coming over, why had she looked toward the hallway? It occurred to me that she might have heard a noise, but I hadn’t heard anything, and my hearing is generally reliable when it comes to detecting unusual household sounds. I once identified a dripping faucet from the opposite end of the house, although Pandora later pointed out that the dripping had been loud enough to hear from the driveway. Still, I couldn’t dismiss the possibility that something was happening beyond my immediate awareness.
The situation became more complicated when Pandora checked the clock again and adjusted the position of Mr Whiskers on her lap. He objected with a small, indignant noise before settling into a more comfortable position. She smiled at him, scratched his chin, and returned to her phone. I began considering whether the clock-checking might be connected to the cat. Perhaps she was waiting until a particular time to feed him, although his regular dinner was still several hours away. Maybe she’d started giving him treats on a schedule, which would explain his unusual attentiveness. That possibility concerned me because Mr Whiskers had already demonstrated an impressive ability to manipulate household members into providing additional snacks. Just yesterday, he’d convinced me that his intense interest in Pandora’s handbag represented some kind of urgent discovery, when all he’d wanted was a packet of treats she’d left inside. I was beginning to suspect that the cat had developed a sophisticated understanding of human curiosity and was using it for personal gain.
John, who had settled into the armchair with his coffee, caught me looking at Mr Whiskers and shook his head. “Don’t,” he said. I asked what he meant. “Whatever theory you’re building about the cat, don’t.” I explained that I wasn’t building a theory, merely considering several possible explanations for a pattern of behavior. He stared at me for a moment before pointing out that this was exactly what building a theory meant. I decided not to argue, partly because he had a point and partly because Pandora had just smiled at her phone again. This time, however, she laughed quietly and glanced at the clock immediately afterward. I found the sequence difficult to ignore. Something amusing had happened in her book, followed by an apparent concern about the time. Either the novel contained an unusually precise schedule of events, or there was something else occupying her attention.
I finally decided that the most mature course of action would be to ask Pandora directly rather than construct another elaborate explanation in my head. “You seem like you’re waiting for something,” I said. She looked up, considered the question, and smiled. “I’m waiting for the next chapter to finish downloading,” she replied. I stared at her. Apparently, the reading app had been having trouble connecting, and she’d been checking whether enough time had passed for it to finish loading. I asked why she’d been looking toward the hallway, and she explained that she’d heard John opening cabinets in the kitchen and wondered whether he’d found the coffee filters he’d been searching for. This seemed disappointingly reasonable. I glanced at John, who confirmed that he’d spent several minutes looking for the filters before discovering that he’d put them in the wrong cupboard himself. He then informed me that the mystery had been solved and asked whether I wanted him to notify the authorities.
I was prepared to accept the explanation and return to my work when Pandora suddenly sat up and announced that she’d remembered something. Mr Whiskers slid off her lap with an offended expression and landed on the couch beside her. She looked at the clock again, then at her phone, and laughed. “I completely forgot,” she said. I felt a familiar tightening in my chest, the sensation that usually precedes the discovery of something I believe to be important. She explained that she’d promised Mrs Jenkins she would send her a photograph of Mr Whiskers for a little project she was putting together. Apparently, Mrs Jenkins had been collecting pictures of neighborhood pets to make a small calendar for herself and a few friends. Pandora had agreed to contribute a photograph but had forgotten about it until a reminder appeared on her phone. The clock-checking had partly been because she wanted to send it before the afternoon got away from her, and partly because she’d been waiting for her book to download. Two ordinary explanations, both completely unrelated to any secret activity.
I looked at Mr Whiskers, who was now sitting upright on the couch with his chest puffed out and his tail curled neatly around his paws. He looked remarkably pleased with himself, although I suspected that was simply his usual expression. Pandora held up her phone and asked whether I thought he’d make a good calendar photograph. I considered the question carefully. On the one hand, Mr Whiskers was undeniably photogenic, with his orange fur, white chest, and the sort of confident expression usually associated with people who have never paid a bill in their lives. On the other hand, I wondered whether participating in a neighborhood pet calendar might encourage his already considerable sense of importance. I suggested that perhaps we should choose a photograph that showed him behaving naturally rather than looking like the chairman of a small but profitable corporation. Pandora laughed and said that looking important *was* his natural behavior.
She began taking pictures, which turned out to be considerably more entertaining than I’d expected. Mr Whiskers initially cooperated, sitting perfectly still while Pandora adjusted the lighting and tried to get a good angle. Then, just as she was about to take what appeared to be an excellent photograph, he turned his head and began licking his shoulder. She tried again, and he yawned so widely that the resulting image made him look like a tiny orange lion preparing to swallow the camera. John leaned forward to watch, offering helpful suggestions that consisted mostly of laughing whenever the cat moved at the wrong moment. Pandora eventually managed to capture a photograph in which Mr Whiskers was looking directly at the camera, his ears upright and his expression unusually dignified. She showed it to me, and I had to admit that it was excellent. Unfortunately, I also noticed that the cat appeared to be staring directly into my soul, which seemed unnecessary for a calendar.
Pandora sent the photograph to Mrs Jenkins and returned to her book, apparently satisfied that the afternoon’s responsibilities had been completed. John finished his coffee and headed upstairs, pausing long enough to remind me that the next time Pandora smiled at her phone, I should consider the possibility that she was simply enjoying herself. I told him that I appreciated his advice, although I felt he was being unnecessarily dismissive of my observational abilities. He pointed out that I’d spent nearly an hour trying to determine why someone reading a mystery novel might occasionally look at a clock. I was about to explain that the situation had involved several additional variables, including feline behavior and an unexplained glance toward the hallway, but decided that continuing the discussion would probably undermine my claim that I was learning to stop overthinking things.
I finally returned to my laptop and managed to finish the paragraph I’d been working on. Pandora was still reading, Mr Whiskers had resumed his position on her lap, and the house had settled into the comfortable quiet of an ordinary afternoon. I felt rather pleased with myself for having asked a direct question instead of pursuing another ridiculous theory, even if it had taken me considerably longer than it should have. There was something reassuring about discovering that not every unusual behavior required an explanation beyond the obvious. Sometimes a person really was just reading a book, sometimes a cat really was just enjoying a warm lap, and sometimes a glance at the clock meant nothing more complicated than checking the time. I decided that perhaps I was finally beginning to understand what Pandora had been trying to tell me about trusting people and paying attention to what they actually said.
Then Pandora laughed again, looked at her phone, and whispered, “Oh, that’s clever.” Mr Whiskers opened one eye and stared at me from across the room. I looked at Pandora, then at the cat, and finally at the clock. For one brief moment, I considered asking what was so clever and whether it had anything to do with Mrs Jenkins’ calendar. Instead, I took a deep breath, closed my laptop, and asked Pandora whether she wanted another cup of tea. She smiled and said that would be lovely. As I headed toward the kitchen, I heard her laughing at her book again, followed by a small, satisfied purr from Mr Whiskers. I chose not to investigate either sound. However, I did make a mental note that if the neighborhood calendar featured Mr Whiskers on the cover, I was going to have serious questions about how the selection process had been conducted.