I’m Hal Larious, a satirical columnist with a deep appreciation for life’s everyday absurdities. My work focuses on the small moments we all experience—the awkward pauses, the misunderstood text messages, the unnecessary meetings, the silent battles with technology—and examines them with just enough exaggeration to make them worth laughing about. I’ve always believed that humor works best when it feels familiar. The most ridiculous situations are often the ones we quietly accept as normal: the group chat that suddenly goes silent, the printer that jams only when you’re in a hurry, the confident declaration of “I’m fine” that convinces absolutely no one. These are the moments I explore, not because they’re dramatic, but because they’re universal. My writing blends observational humor with a steady, slightly over-serious tone. I enjoy treating trivial inconveniences as if they deserve thoughtful commentary—because sometimes the best way to cope with modern life is to analyze it just enough to see how strange it really is. Whether I’m writing about relationships, workplace dynamics, technology frustrations, or the theatrical nature of politics, the goal is always the same: find the shared human experience and give it a gentle nudge toward the absurd. I don’t aim to mock people. I aim to highlight patterns—those familiar, relatable quirks in how we think, communicate, and occasionally overreact. If you’ve ever rehearsed a conversation in your head that never happened, refreshed your email more times than necessary, or taken a minor inconvenience personally, you’ll probably recognize yourself somewhere in these pages. Humor doesn’t have to shout to be effective. Sometimes it just needs to observe carefully, exaggerate slightly, and trust the reader to connect the dots. Thanks for reading. — Hal Larious
Author's posts
I Knew Something Was Off When Mrs Jenkins Walked By
I’m sitting on the couch, staring at the TV remote in my hand, trying to recall where I put it. Pandora’s not home yet and John Mercer is probably out with Dave somewhere, doing who-knows-what. Mrs Jenkins from across the street just walked by, giving me that look she gives when she thinks we’re being …
I Think Karen Drank All Our Coffee Again
I’m standing in our kitchen, staring at the empty coffee container on the counter. It’s not like I didn’t remember to buy more coffee yesterday… or did I? I could swear John Mercer mentioned something about needing coffee for his gaming marathon tonight. Hmm, now that I think about it, he hasn’t said much about …
I Just Caught Pandora Glancing at the Shed Twice
I’m sitting in the living room watching Pandora scroll through her phone while pretending to watch TV with me. You know that thing people do where they’re technically sitting beside you but mentally they’re on another planet? That’s what she’s doing. Every now and then I say something and get one-word answers like “mm-hmm” or …
I Knew Something Was Off When John Took the Mail
I’m sitting on the couch watching TV while Pandora’s in the kitchen making dinner. I can smell something burning, which means she’s trying that new recipe from the cookbook again. I should probably get up and tell her it smells like the smoke detector is preparing for battle, but I’m comfortable, and besides, she always …
I Know Why the Cat Food Is Almost Empty Again
I’m sipping my coffee and staring at the clock on the wall, trying to shake off the haze that always seems to hang around on Monday mornings. John Mercer is still asleep in his room, Mrs. Jenkins is vacuuming next door for what feels like the thousandth time this month, and Mr. Whiskers is sitting …
I Caught John Mercer Staring at Pandora’s Poetry Again
I’m making coffee, and Pandora is still asleep on the couch. Not fake asleep either—real asleep. Blanket halfway on the floor, one arm hanging over the edge, completely unaware of the world kind of asleep. Mr. Whiskers, our yellow tabby, is stretched out on the kitchen floor next to me, purring loudly enough to sound …
I Think Mrs Jenkins Is Watching Us Closely Today
I’m sitting on the couch staring at Mr Whiskers while he lazily grooms one paw like he has absolutely nowhere to be. Pandora mentioned yesterday that work was going to be busy this week, but today she’s barely said anything. No plans, no hints, nothing unusual on the surface. Now maybe that sounds perfectly normal …
I Think John Mercer Borrowed More Than Just Sugar
I’m sitting on the couch staring at Pandora’s phone, and I already know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know exactly where this road leads. I’ve been down this road before. This is how normal people end up becoming weird people. This is how somebody ends up standing in their front yard three months from …
I Think John Mercer Is in on It Too
I’m sitting on the couch, staring at Pandora as she’s typing away on her laptop. She seems lost in thought, muttering to herself occasionally. I’m trying to focus on my own work, but I keep sneaking glances over at her. John Mercer is sprawled out on the other end of the couch, snoring softly. Mr …
John Started Acting Weird and Now I’m Concerned
I’m standing in the kitchen trying to make breakfast while Pandora gets ready for work. I’m not really paying attention to what I’m doing. I’m just going through the motions. Mr. Whiskers is weaving around my feet and meowing loudly, demanding food or attention—probably both. John Mercer wandered into the kitchen a few minutes ago …
Mrs Jenkins Knew Something Before I Did
I’m staring at the fridge trying to figure out why Karen texted me yesterday asking if I could grab milk on my way home from work. The milk’s sitting there unopened right now. Which is weird, because I could’ve sworn she told me during lunch that she already picked some up herself. Unless she meant …
Fresh Fruit Arrived While I Wasn’t Looking
I’m standing at the kitchen window with a cup of coffee in my hand, staring across the yard at Mrs. Jenkins’ porch. Something doesn’t add up. Yesterday, she told everyone she was leaving town for work for a few days. She even complained about the drive and joked that her garden would probably die while …
I Think Karen’s Hiding Something from Us
I’m sitting in the living room, staring at Mr Whiskers as she’s grooming herself on my lap. It’s a calm moment, but something’s been bothering me lately. I’ve been noticing that Karen seems to be avoiding John when he comes home late. She’ll quickly excuse herself and head into her room, leaving us alone. At …
I Think Our Cat Is in Cahoots with Mrs Jenkins’
I’m sitting in the living room, trying to focus on my math homework, but I keep glancing at Pandora who’s watching TV on the couch. She’s laughing at something on the screen and every so often she says “oh yeah!” or “ha!” but it’s not really loud enough for me to make out what’s funny. …
I’m Living With a Cat Who’s Clearly Running Psychological Experiments
It’s Saturday, which means John Mercer has been loudly arguing with something in the house for almost six consecutive hours. That’s just what Saturdays are now. Some people spend weekends relaxing, some people go hiking, and apparently I spend mine listening to a grown man scream at household objects like they personally betrayed him. Right …
The Cookies on the Coffee Table Are Watching Me
I’m sitting in the living room, watching Pandora feed Mr Whiskers on the couch. She’s trying to get him to eat this new food, but he’s not having it. I notice that Karen texted me a few minutes ago, asking if we’re free for dinner tonight. I was going to respond, but Pandora just got …
I’m Starting to Think My Housemates Are Plotting Something
I’ve been trying to get used to Pandora’s schedule lately, and it seems like she’s always sneaking into the kitchen around 2 am. Last night was no exception – I woke up to the sound of the fridge opening and closed my eyes again, thinking it was just John Mercer getting a midnight snack. But …
I Just Realized Mr Whiskers Has Been Watching John Very Closely
I’m standing in the kitchen, making myself a cup of coffee. John Mercer is sitting at the table, staring at his laptop screen with an intense focus. I’ve seen him like this before, but it’s been a while since we had a particularly long day and everyone else was out. Dave said he’d be back …
I Think Pandora Is Trying to Tell Me Something
I’m staring at Pandora, who’s sitting on the couch with her eyes fixed on some TV show. She looks… off, I guess. Not in a big way, just a tiny bit. Her expression is calm, like she’s really into whatever’s happening on screen, but it’s not quite right. It’s almost like she’s trying too hard …
The Cat’s Behavior Is More Suspicious Than I Thought
I was making toast in the kitchen when I noticed something. Pandora’s mug is on the counter, but it’s not empty like I thought she’d already washed it after breakfast. I could’ve sworn she left for her shift at the hospital hours ago… unless John Mercer borrowed it without asking? Again. He always says he …
Did I Just Catch John Spying on Me Through the Kitchen
I’m standing at the stove, flipping pancakes as quietly as humanly possible, which turns out is not very quiet. Every flip sounds like a small betrayal. Pandora’s still asleep down the hall. She’s been stressed lately, so I’m trying not to wake her. That means no music, no clattering, no aggressive pancake flipping. Just me. …
I’m Starting to Think John Mercer’s Hiding Something
I’m sitting in our living room, trying to focus on my book, but Mr Whiskers is being a bit of a pest. He keeps jumping onto my lap and pawing at my pages. I try to shoo him off, but he just gives me this innocent look like “what’s wrong with you?” Anyway, as I’m …
The Toast Always Burns When Something’s Off
I’m making toast in the kitchen while Pandora’s voice carries in from the living room, where she’s on the phone with her sister, pacing the way she always does when she’s trying to sound like she’s paying attention. I glance over at John Mercer, who’s on the couch with his eyes locked on his phone …
Everyone Is Hiding Something (Especially the Cat)
I’m sitting in the living room, staring at Mr. Whiskers, who’s lazily grooming his paws. Pandora walked out about an hour ago to get some coffee from the café down the street, and I’m starting to feel a bit restless. She still hasn’t come back, which is starting to feel… intentional. John Mercer is still …
The Neighbors Are Watching Us, I’m Certain
I’m staring at Pandora, trying to figure out why she seems distracted today. We’re in the living room. Mr. Whiskers is stretched across her lap, and she’s petting him, but it’s automatic. Like her hand is doing it out of habit while her mind is somewhere else. That’s what’s bothering me. She’s here. But she’s …
I Found Something in the Living Room That Shouldn’t Be There
I’m walking into the living room when I notice Pandora sitting on the couch with her laptop open. She’s typing away like everything is completely normal, and John Mercer is over by the kitchen counter, making himself a sandwich. Nothing unusual. At least, that’s what I tell myself at first. Then I realize something’s off. …
I’m Starting to Suspect Mr Whiskers Knows More
I’m making breakfast in the kitchen when I notice that Pandora’s coffee mug is not on its usual hook by the cabinet. It’s a small thing, but it’s slightly off because she always puts it there after every use. I check the dishwasher to see if it got washed and put away, but it’s not …
I Think My Cat Is Hoarding Cereal for a Reason
I’ve been noticing that Pandora’s been eating a lot more cereal lately, and it’s always the same brand. At first, I didn’t think much of it. People go through phases. Coffee, tea, smoothies, whatever. But this isn’t a phase. This is… consistent. Like, alarmingly consistent. We’re going through boxes every few days. Pandora has never …
I’m Starting to Think Something Happened Last Night
I’m sitting at my own kitchen table, staring at a cup of coffee that isn’t mine, trying to shake the feeling that something is off. The thing is… Pandora doesn’t leave her coffee behind. Ever. And yet here it is, still steaming on my counter like it hasn’t gotten the memo that she’s gone. The …
I Know Something Is Up With Pandora’s Hair Tie
I’m making breakfast in the kitchen, eggs on the stove, and I notice that Pandora left her hair tie on the counter. It’s not like it’s a huge deal or anything, but it seems out of place because we usually tidy up after ourselves. I’m thinking about how John Mercer is probably still asleep in …
I Think Pandora’s Building Some Kind of Social Intelligence Network
I’m sitting in the living room with Pandora, trying to watch TV, but Mr. Whiskers keeps interrupting. He’s been meowing a lot lately, and I’ve been trying to figure out why. At first, I thought it might have something to do with Mrs. Jenkins next door complaining about noise again. But what really caught my …