Author: Hal
I’m Hal, a satirical columnist with a deep appreciation for life’s everyday absurdities. My work focuses on the small moments we all experience—the awkward pauses, the misunderstood text messages, the unnecessary meetings, the silent battles with technology—and examines them with just enough exaggeration to make them worth laughing about.
I’ve always believed that humor works best when it feels familiar. The most ridiculous situations are often the ones we quietly accept as normal: the group chat that suddenly goes silent, the printer that jams only when you’re in a hurry, the confident declaration of “I’m fine” that convinces absolutely no one. These are the moments I explore, not because they’re dramatic, but because they’re universal.
My writing blends observational humor with a steady, slightly over-serious tone. I enjoy treating trivial inconveniences as if they deserve thoughtful commentary—because sometimes the best way to cope with modern life is to analyze it just enough to see how strange it really is. Whether I’m writing about relationships, workplace dynamics, technology frustrations, or the theatrical nature of politics, the goal is always the same: find the shared human experience and give it a gentle nudge toward the absurd.
I don’t aim to mock people. I aim to highlight patterns—those familiar, relatable quirks in how we think, communicate, and occasionally overreact. If you’ve ever rehearsed a conversation in your head that never happened, refreshed your email more times than necessary, or taken a minor inconvenience personally, you’ll probably recognize yourself somewhere in these pages.
Humor doesn’t have to shout to be effective. Sometimes it just needs to observe carefully, exaggerate slightly, and trust the reader to connect the dots.
Thanks for reading.
— Hal Larious
I’m sitting at the kitchen table trying to get some work done when I notice John Mercer doing something unusual with his laptop. He’s sitting at the other end of the table looking at what appears to be a personal…
I’m standing in the kitchen making coffee when I notice that the sugar container is open. This would not ordinarily qualify as an event, but the lid isn’t missing or sitting somewhere that suggests negligence. It is placed neatly beside…
I’m standing in the kitchen waiting for Pandora to finish making breakfast when I notice John Mercer’s backpack lying open on the floor beside one of the chairs. This would not normally concern me because John’s approach to personal belongings…
I’m sitting at the kitchen table trying to concentrate on my laptop, but concentration becomes difficult when you discover that your neighbor may possess a more comprehensive understanding of your daily routine than you do. This started last night when…
I’m sitting in the living room staring at a smudge on the coffee table. It isn’t a particularly large smudge, and under normal circumstances I probably wouldn’t have noticed it, but yesterday Dave said something at work that has been…
I’m sitting in the living room watching Pandora fix her hair, and something about the entire morning has been bothering me. She has this habit of tugging on one particular strand whenever she’s concentrating, which I’ve noticed before but never…
I’m trying to get ready for work, but Mr Whiskers has apparently decided that whatever I have planned for the morning is less important than whatever is happening near the kitchen wall. Every time I reach for the coffee, he…
I walked into the kitchen that morning and immediately noticed Pandora’s coffee mug sitting on the counter. There were maybe three sips left in the bottom, which ordinarily wouldn’t have meant anything because Pandora has been known to abandon coffee…
Pandora has been acting strange all morning, although I should clarify that by “strange” I mean she has done approximately four things differently than she normally does, none of which would qualify as strange if observed independently. The problem is…
I’m sitting in the living room on what should be a perfectly ordinary Sunday afternoon, watching Pandora type something on her laptop while Mr Whiskers is curled against my leg, purring with the sort of relentless mechanical consistency that people…
Mr. Whiskers has been unusually affectionate with me today, and ordinarily that would be a pleasant development. Unfortunately, I know too much now. There was a time when I might have interpreted a cat climbing onto my lap as evidence…
I’m making toast when Pandora walks into the kitchen, pours herself a bowl of cereal, and sits down without saying good morning. This by itself is unusual but not unprecedented. Pandora occasionally requires several minutes of consciousness before she becomes…
I’m sitting in the living room trying to read when I notice Pandora checking her phone for what has to be the fifth time in ten minutes. Normally I wouldn’t assign significance to that, especially after what happened with the…
I was standing in the kitchen waiting for Pandora to finish getting ready when John Mercer came in, opened the refrigerator, looked inside for approximately four seconds, and closed it again without taking anything. Normally I wouldn’t have paid much…
I was making breakfast when Mrs. Jenkins yelled, “BLUEBERRY!” loud enough for me to hear it through the kitchen window. Under ordinary circumstances, I probably would have assumed she was talking about blueberries, especially since Mrs. Jenkins has demonstrated a…
I noticed the problem at breakfast, although at the time I didn’t know it was a problem. Pandora was standing at the kitchen counter drinking coffee from the blue mug that caused yesterday’s completely unnecessary misunderstanding, John was sitting at…
I’m sitting at the kitchen table when Pandora walks in carrying a coffee mug I have never seen before. I notice it immediately, although I would like to emphasize that I am not monitoring Pandora’s mug usage. There is a…
I’m sitting on the couch trying to read when I notice Pandora’s laptop open on the coffee table. I am not attempting to look at her screen. This distinction is important because the laptop is facing me, the screen is…
I’m standing in the kitchen looking at Pandora’s phone, and something about it doesn’t make sense. The phone is plugged into the outlet near the counter, the charging symbol is visible on the screen, and the battery is at three…
I’m making breakfast when I notice Mr Whiskers lying on the floor at the edge of the kitchen, staring at me. This is unusual for several reasons, the most important being that I am cooking eggs and Mr Whiskers is…