Author: Hal

I’m Hal, a satirical columnist with a deep appreciation for life’s everyday absurdities. My work focuses on the small moments we all experience—the awkward pauses, the misunderstood text messages, the unnecessary meetings, the silent battles with technology—and examines them with just enough exaggeration to make them worth laughing about. I’ve always believed that humor works best when it feels familiar. The most ridiculous situations are often the ones we quietly accept as normal: the group chat that suddenly goes silent, the printer that jams only when you’re in a hurry, the confident declaration of “I’m fine” that convinces absolutely no one. These are the moments I explore, not because they’re dramatic, but because they’re universal. My writing blends observational humor with a steady, slightly over-serious tone. I enjoy treating trivial inconveniences as if they deserve thoughtful commentary—because sometimes the best way to cope with modern life is to analyze it just enough to see how strange it really is. Whether I’m writing about relationships, workplace dynamics, technology frustrations, or the theatrical nature of politics, the goal is always the same: find the shared human experience and give it a gentle nudge toward the absurd. I don’t aim to mock people. I aim to highlight patterns—those familiar, relatable quirks in how we think, communicate, and occasionally overreact. If you’ve ever rehearsed a conversation in your head that never happened, refreshed your email more times than necessary, or taken a minor inconvenience personally, you’ll probably recognize yourself somewhere in these pages. Humor doesn’t have to shout to be effective. Sometimes it just needs to observe carefully, exaggerate slightly, and trust the reader to connect the dots. Thanks for reading. — Hal Larious

I Knew Something Was Off When Mrs Jenkins Walked By

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch, staring at the TV remote in my hand, trying to recall where I put it. Pandora’s not home yet and John Mercer is probably out with Dave somewhere, doing who-knows-what. Mrs Jenkins from across the…

I Think Karen Drank All Our Coffee Again

Hal

I’m standing in our kitchen, staring at the empty coffee container on the counter. It’s not like I didn’t remember to buy more coffee yesterday… or did I? I could swear John Mercer mentioned something about needing coffee for his…

I Just Caught Pandora Glancing at the Shed Twice

Hal

I’m sitting in the living room watching Pandora scroll through her phone while pretending to watch TV with me. You know that thing people do where they’re technically sitting beside you but mentally they’re on another planet? That’s what she’s…

I Knew Something Was Off When John Took the Mail

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch watching TV while Pandora’s in the kitchen making dinner. I can smell something burning, which means she’s trying that new recipe from the cookbook again. I should probably get up and tell her it smells…

I Know Why the Cat Food Is Almost Empty Again

Hal

I’m sipping my coffee and staring at the clock on the wall, trying to shake off the haze that always seems to hang around on Monday mornings. John Mercer is still asleep in his room, Mrs. Jenkins is vacuuming next…

I Caught John Mercer Staring at Pandora’s Poetry Again

Hal

I’m making coffee, and Pandora is still asleep on the couch. Not fake asleep either—real asleep. Blanket halfway on the floor, one arm hanging over the edge, completely unaware of the world kind of asleep. Mr. Whiskers, our yellow tabby,…

I Think Mrs Jenkins Is Watching Us Closely Today

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch staring at Mr Whiskers while he lazily grooms one paw like he has absolutely nowhere to be. Pandora mentioned yesterday that work was going to be busy this week, but today she’s barely said anything.…

I Think John Mercer Borrowed More Than Just Sugar

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch staring at Pandora’s phone, and I already know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know exactly where this road leads. I’ve been down this road before. This is how normal people end up becoming weird…

I Think John Mercer Is in on It Too

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch, staring at Pandora as she’s typing away on her laptop. She seems lost in thought, muttering to herself occasionally. I’m trying to focus on my own work, but I keep sneaking glances over at her.…

John Started Acting Weird and Now I’m Concerned

Hal

I’m standing in the kitchen trying to make breakfast while Pandora gets ready for work. I’m not really paying attention to what I’m doing. I’m just going through the motions. Mr. Whiskers is weaving around my feet and meowing loudly,…

Mrs Jenkins Knew Something Before I Did

Hal

I’m staring at the fridge trying to figure out why Karen texted me yesterday asking if I could grab milk on my way home from work. The milk’s sitting there unopened right now. Which is weird, because I could’ve sworn…

Fresh Fruit Arrived While I Wasn’t Looking

Hal

I’m standing at the kitchen window with a cup of coffee in my hand, staring across the yard at Mrs. Jenkins’ porch. Something doesn’t add up. Yesterday, she told everyone she was leaving town for work for a few days.…

I Think Karen’s Hiding Something from Us

Hal

I’m sitting in the living room, staring at Mr Whiskers as she’s grooming herself on my lap. It’s a calm moment, but something’s been bothering me lately. I’ve been noticing that Karen seems to be avoiding John when he comes…

I Think Our Cat Is in Cahoots with Mrs Jenkins’

Hal

I’m sitting in the living room, trying to focus on my math homework, but I keep glancing at Pandora who’s watching TV on the couch. She’s laughing at something on the screen and every so often she says “oh yeah!”…

The Cookies on the Coffee Table Are Watching Me

Hal

I’m sitting in the living room, watching Pandora feed Mr Whiskers on the couch. She’s trying to get him to eat this new food, but he’s not having it. I notice that Karen texted me a few minutes ago, asking…

I Think Pandora Is Trying to Tell Me Something

Hal

I’m staring at Pandora, who’s sitting on the couch with her eyes fixed on some TV show. She looks… off, I guess. Not in a big way, just a tiny bit. Her expression is calm, like she’s really into whatever’s…