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Irish Ghost Story
John Bradford, Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door … only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t running.The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying … and wasn’t drunk. Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other… ”Look Paddy … there’s that fooking idiot wot got in the car while we were pushing it!”
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Confucius Says
Confucius Say: It’s OK to let a fool kiss you; but don’t let a kiss fool you.
Confucius Say: A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.
Confucius Say: It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.
Confucius Say: A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Confucius Say: Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest.
Confucius Say: Viagra is like Disneyland…A one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Confucius Say: It is much better to want the mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.
Confucius Say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.
Confucius Say:Man can’t rape woman, as woman can run faster with dress up than man with pants down.
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Some Say A Lot In Their Simplicity
Think About Life With a Higher Perspective
Christmas Decorations 2016
I just felt like taking some photos of some Christmas decorations to catch a little Christmas spirit. Here are a few shots.
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Five Undeniable Facts
1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.
2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – PRICELESS.
4. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.
5. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
I haven’t verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legal.
A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
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Funny Aging Comics
Only in Israel
With Hanukkah coming up I thought it would be neat to show some things that you will only see in Israel.
A perfect parking job.
More Women fly F-16’s in Israel than drive cars in Saudi Arabia.
Hasidic family crossing sign.
Soldiers who bring their kids to work.
Sudoku while swimming in the Dead Sea.
The reason 7-Elevens are never robbed in Israel.
Israel is the only country where army reservists are commanded by officers younger than their own children.
An entire country comes to a halt. On Holocaust Remembrance Day, a siren goes off at 10 AM in Israel in memory of the 6,000,000 Jews who perished in the Holocaust. As the siren wails all activity comes to a halt, including traffic on major highways.
Israel is one of the only countries where the sun sets into the Mediterranean Sea.
Kosher McDonald’s.
Atheists who believe in God.
Remarkable Diversity.
Wedding photos like this:
Your date brings her M-16.
A Hasidic family dressed like this.
Supermodels who serve in the military.
No cars on the road for an entire 24 hours (Yom Kippur).
Road signs like these.
And Spiderman.
Generations Collide.
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Funny Signs
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Bob and the Blonde
Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”
Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”
The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.”
The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Bob took the money…
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Brief California History Lesson
Do you know what happened 166 years ago this summer…September 9th, 1850?
California became a state! The people had no electricity, the state had no money and almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically nothing has changed except back then the women had real tits and the men didn’t hold hands.
And that, my friends, is your history lesson for today.
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Democrats Recounting Votes
Democrats have been unhappy with the turnout of the Presidential election and have start to recount.
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Boar’s Head Handcrafted Sandwich
I was at the supermarket and I saw a Boar’s Head turkey sandwich that looked pretty good. Now, although this sandwich did taste as good as it looked, one thing I didn’t notice until I opened it because the sandwiches were standing vertically was the huge lettering at the bottom that said, “Handcrafted.” As I was eating the sandwich I couldn’t help, but think about why they would put that on the packaging. Are other sandwiches made specifically by sandwich making machines? Is there some sort of sandwich apprenticeship that they are proudly displaying their craftsmanship? Are they trying to brag? Perhaps this is just a stupid marketing ploy to try to entice people to buy their sandwiches. Whichever it is, it is all nonsense. Just let the sandwich speak for itself. It looked good. It tasted good. Leave it alone.
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Kid Rock Understands the 2016 Election
Model Tatiana – Hippie Photo Shoot
I went on a photo shoot with, Tatiana, one of the models from the previous Boarder X Brewery event that I took photos at. This was different as it was more in nature and more one-on-one, but I think we got some really good photos. She is a pleasure to work with and as I build my experience, my name, and my reputation, I will keep doing my best to capture her in the best light.
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I am a Veteran
I am a veteran. I chose to serve my country, not because it was cool, but because I though it was the right thing to do. I didn’t join to try to be an sort of hero. I just wanted opportunities to travel the world, learn a decent job, and get a college degree. I was willing to make the sacrifices that many other’s weren’t. I raised my right hand and swore an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States against enemies both foreign and domestic. Although I did not retire from the military, I served honorably. I don’t ask to be recognized. I don’t ask for free stuff. I don’t need people to buy me free beer or pat me on the back. I have done what my country has asked of me and I’ve demanded nothing in return. At sporting events when they ask veteran’s to stand to be recognize, I sit quietly and look around at the real heroes. I believe the it is because of other like-minded individuals from all walks of life, different backgrounds, different cultures, different races, and even different sexual preferences, that have swore the same oath that I swore to protect and defend our beloved country is what makes our country great.
Many people don’t understand the sacrifices that veteran’s have made. They have chosen to protect the United States of America, the values that we stand for, and the ideals that we uphold. They travel to distant lands, spend time away from friends and loved ones, and missed many holidays, birthdays, births, graduations, and other important events. Many service members do not get the opportunity to become a veteran as many never make it home.
When veteran’s day comes around I don’t ask for a day off work. I don’t post my photo to get recognition or praise. I just want to shake the hand or acknowledge others who were willing to do the same thing I did. These are the people I like to know. These are the truly great people who make this country what it is. These are the people that are always welcome and have a friend with me. Here’s to you. Cheers.
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Happy Veteran’s Day 2016
Veterans,
The sacrifices you have made are what help forge the United States into one of the greatest countries in the world. Thank you for your service.
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45th President of the United States: Donald J. Trump
That was quite an election and Donald J. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States of America. I didn’t see that coming and it was a surprise to see that he pulled out a win. It definitely shows that American’s don’t agree with Barrack Obama and want to turn the country away from the direction he was taking the country. One major thing that I was surprised about was the lack of voter turnout. When I look through the numbers of every state it appears that on average only somewhere between 40-50% of people actually voted. That’s almost 60% of the country who didn’t vote. That’s a very big surprise for me. It was also surprising to see the republican’s held the house and senate and now the presidency too. That’s an all republican controlled government. Let’s see if they can get things passed and if congress will get back to work, as opposed to, the gridlock they maintained while Obama was president. I look forward to seeing the change, I look forward to seeing what changes will be made, and I look forward to seeing how great American will become.
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Southern Cops Have a Way With Words
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”
And the winner is…
16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”