Month: February 2008
Orthopedic Bed Just for Men
Old Age
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today..”
The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me”
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”
The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming up,! ” says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one, too.”
The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming right up,” the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”
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Signs That You May be Having a Bad Day
1.) You woke up in a strange place
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2.) Your new diet doesn’t seem to be working
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3.) You pulled a muscle while trying to exercise
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4.) Your new hat looked better on you at the store
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6.) You feel like you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time
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7.) The boss chewed you out at work
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8.) You got caught in the rain at lunchtime
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10.) You feel trapped somehow…
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11.) Traffic on the way home was brutal
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12.) You think you might be coming down with the flu
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13.) You’re home alone and you hear a noise in the basement
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