Month: February 2008
Orthopedic Bed Just for Men
Someone has finally made an orthopedic bed just for men. Available only at “Butts, Boobs and Beyond”
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Old Age
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today..”
The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me”
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”
The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming up,! ” says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one, too.”
The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming right up,” the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”
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Marriage’s Most Popular Bedroom Move: The Begging Dog and the Sleeping Possum
It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
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Redneck Birth Control
Signs That You May be Having a Bad Day
1.) You woke up in a strange place
2.) Your new diet doesn’t seem to be working
3.) You pulled a muscle while trying to exercise
4.) Your new hat looked better on you at the store
5.) You keep losing things
6.) You feel like you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time
7.) The boss chewed you out at work
8.) You got caught in the rain at lunchtime
9.) You get no respect
10.) You feel trapped somehow…
11.) Traffic on the way home was brutal
12.) You think you might be coming down with the flu
13.) You’re home alone and you hear a noise in the basement
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Great Ads
Chelsea Clinton
Chelsea Clinton recently discussed current events with a U.S. soldier.
She asked if, as an American fighting man, anything scared him.
He told her there were only three things he feared:
1) Osama
2) Obama
And
3) Yo Mama!
