March 2010 archive

New Truck

I bought a new Chevy Avalanche And returned to the dealer yesterday Because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. ‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’ ‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’ Came from the speakers. Then …

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The Husband’s T-shirt

My wife was always after me to go shopping with her. Then I began wearing my favorite t-shirt. Now she doesn’t want me to go shopping with her anymore.

Camping Tools

Just when you think that you have everything for camping out and sitting around the fire at the lake someone comes up with something new.

A Cardiologist’s Funeral

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life…. A huge heart… covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was …

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Lesbonics

1 . What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? A. licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A. Klondike . 3.. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? A. Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can’t lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? A. Because they can’t eat Jenny …

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Enoshima Aquarium

Even though it is March and the weather is still cold I got tired of being stuck in doors from the winter and decided to take the train to the east coast of Japan to visit Enoshima and check out their aquarium. While there I watched the dolphin and sea lion show. The show really …

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Married Woman

The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, …

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2nd Opinion

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decided to go and see a doctor. The doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press …

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Speeding

I got stopped for speeding yesterday. I thought I could talk my way out of it until the officer looked at my dog in the back seat.