Category: Humor

I’m Certain Mr Whiskers Is Plotting Something

Hal

Breakfast should be one of the least complicated parts of the day. You crack a couple of eggs, put some bread in the toaster, make a cup of coffee, and spend a few peaceful minutes pretending the world isn’t already…

I Knew Mrs Jenkins Was Hiding Something Today

Hal

I’m sitting in the living room watching Mr. Whiskers attempt the impossible. John bought him an expensive cat bed last month, yet he’s completely ignored it in favor of trying to squeeze himself into a cardboard box that’s barely larger…

I’m Starting To Think It’s Not About The Noise

Hal

The coffee was almost ready when I happened to glance out the kitchen window and noticed Mrs. Jenkins standing in hers. Now, that wasn’t unusual. Mrs. Jenkins has always treated the front window as though it were a front-row seat…

I Think My Neighbor Is Sending Me Subtle Messages

Hal

I was sitting in the living room when something felt…off. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it. The apartment looked exactly the same as it had yesterday. John Mercer was reading a book in his chair, Mr. Whiskers…

My Bread Was Stale for a Reason, I Just Know It

Hal

I was making toast that morning when something immediately felt wrong. The loaf of bread we’d bought the day before was already stale. Not completely stale, mind you. It wasn’t the sort of bread you could use as a doorstop,…

I Found a Clue in Pandora’s Abandoned Purse

Hal

I was sitting in the living room one afternoon when I noticed Pandora’s purse beside the coffee table. That wasn’t unusual by itself. Pandora visited often enough that finding one of her belongings in the apartment wasn’t exactly rare. What…

I Think Pandora Had Something to Do with It

Hal

I was making tea in the kitchen when I noticed Pandora’s favorite mug sitting on the counter. At first, I didn’t think much of it. Then I remembered it had been sitting in exactly the same spot the night before.…

I Think Pandora Left Her Phone Out for a Reason

Hal

I was halfway through making a sandwich when I noticed Pandora’s phone sitting on the kitchen counter. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn’t have meant much. People forget their phones all the time. The problem was that Pandora wasn’t one of…

I Knew John Mercer Was Snoozing for a Reason

Hal

I was standing in the kitchen trying to make breakfast and a halfway decent cup of coffee when I first started paying attention to John Mercer’s snoring. Normally I can tune it out. After living with someone for years, certain…

I Think John Mercer Might Be Controlling Karen

Hal

I was halfway through making breakfast when my phone buzzed. Karen had canceled our plans. The message itself was perfectly normal. Sorry, Hal. Family emergency. Rain check? That should have been the end of it. People cancel plans all the…

I Think My Coffee Maker Is Plotting Against Me

Hal

I’m standing in the kitchen staring at the coffee maker, and I’m almost certain it’s making a different noise than it did yesterday. Not a huge difference. Nothing dramatic. Just enough to make me pause in the middle of pouring…

I Think I Just Saw Pandora’s Soul Depart

Hal

I was sitting in the living room trying to get some work done when I noticed something deeply unsettling. Pandora hadn’t moved in nearly half an hour. At first, I didn’t think much of it. People sit on couches all…

I Suspect Mrs Jenkins Has an Unusual Lawnmower

Hal

I was trying to get some work done, which would have been considerably easier if Mr Whiskers had not decided that my laptop represented a threat to national security. The orange menace had spent the better part of ten minutes…

I Think Mrs Jenkins Dropped By Unannounced Again

Hal

I was sitting on the couch staring at the coffee table when I noticed three things that absolutely should not have been there. The first was an empty energy drink can. The second was a crumpled piece of paper covered…

I Think the Cat is Trying to Warn Me

Hal

I first noticed something was wrong with Mr. Whiskers on a Saturday morning while I was drinking coffee in the living room. The apartment was quiet except for the occasional hum of the refrigerator and the distant sound of traffic…

I Think Mr Whiskers Is Affecting Pandora’s Behavior

Hal

I’ve been trying to brush it off, but Pandora’s behavior has me on edge. She’s been distant lately, and I’ve noticed she’s been checking her phone an awful lot—usually when we’re in the middle of a conversation or watching television…