Charmane Star
Charmane Star came to Hawaii for a promotional show at Club 939 in Honolulu, so I had to go check her out. I got there at about 9 PM and she came out at about 10 PM. She performed a sexy little dance, then took a break. After her break she sat in a booth for some meet and greet. It was during the meet and greet that I had to get my photo taken with her otherwise nobody would have believed that I met her. I got a short chance to talk with her, she seemed pretty cool and down to earth. She asked me what I wanted her to write on the Polariod I got taken with her, so I told her something funny like, “Bald is beautiful.” So she did it. Then I went back and got one of her professional photos and had her sign that too.
Charmane Star in Hawaii at Club 939
I was walking down the street and I saw a flier for Charmane Star coming to Club 939 in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Photos of Drive Between Manila to Angeles City, Philippines
Today I took a van ride from Manila to Angeles City in the Philippines. Here are some photos I took along the way of that trip.
Photos from Dusit Hotel Manila, Philippines
I landed in Manila today and checked into the Dusit hotel. Here are some photos of the room and the view of Makati from the hotel. It looks like it is hazy outside and everyday I thought it was going to rain, except it never did. That is pollution.
Happy New Year 2007!
We here at The Kumachan would like to wish everybody a Happy New Year! We hope the new year brings everyone good fortune, happiness, and good health.
Atheist in the Classroom
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of thecourses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to theceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knockme off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture roomfell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professorproclaimed, “Here I am God. I”m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”
The Marine calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting America’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like anasshole. …………….So, He sent me.
Sick of Blonde Jokes
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes she’d hear at the office. So one evening she went home and memorized all
of the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb Blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.”
One of the guys said, “I don’t believe you.”
She said, “It’s true. Just test me!”
“Okay. What is the capital of Alaska?” he asked.
“A,” she answered, smugly.
The Blonde & The Heart Attack
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” she asks.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, “Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she’s got no clothes on!”
The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.
“You rotten bitch,” she screams.
“My husband’s having a heart attack, and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!”
A Soldiers Wish
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
‘, ‘The sound wasn”t loud, and it wasn”t too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn”t quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
“What are you doing?” I asked without fear,
“Come in this moment, it”s freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire”s light
Then he sighed and he said “Its really all right,
I”m out here by choice. I”m here every night.” “It”s my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I”m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ”Pearl on a day in December,”
Then he sighed, “That”s a Christmas ”Gram always remembers.”
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ”Nam”,
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I”ve not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he”s sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue… an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.”
“So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I”ll be all right.”
“But isn”t there something I can do, at the least,
“Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you”ve done,
For being away from your wife and your son.”
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
“Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we”re gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”
LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq
Troops Should Pull Out
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths – that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.
For the same period of time, the firearm death rate in Washington DC is 80.6 per 100,000 citizens.
That means that you are about 30 percent more likely to be shot and killed in the Capitol of the United States
– which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation – than you are in Iraq.
Conclusion:
The United States should pull out of Washington, DC immediately!
Finish?
A virile, middle aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?” She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, “No.” Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, “You finish?” Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, “No.” Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted , Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, “You finish?” Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, “No, I Norvegian.”
You Know You’re in Texas When…
– The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
– The trees are whistling for the dogs.
– The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
– Hot water now comes out of both taps.
– You can make sun tea instantly.
– You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
– The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
– You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
– You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
– You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
– You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
– Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
– You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
– The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
– Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
– The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Warning: Idiots in the Area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”
From Kingman, KS.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open!” His reply, “I know – I already got that side.”
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
Up Nort in Dulut
Ole Vas working at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentlycut off all ten of his finkers.
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar daNorsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Let’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do.
“Ole said, “I haven’t got da finkers.”
“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lord-it’s 2006! ve’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new!
Why didn’t you brink da finkers?”
To vhich Ole says……..”How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?
Pregnant Turkey Story
Last year at Christmas time, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional holiday feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store and asked if my sister wouldn’t mind going out to get it. When my sister left the house, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the mixed stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey… then re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back into the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Barbara, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry hysterically. It took the entire family almost two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yes, my sister is blonde.