Author: Dave
Hot Date in Tennessee
A young Tennessee man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmacist: ‘I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?’ The pharmacist responds:…
iPod Touch
Today I received my brand new iPod touch. This is the 1st Apple iPod I actually bought. This version of the iPod touch is the 16GB model. It is pretty cool. I’m still learning and playing with the settings and…
Bumper Bowling
Today I played bumper bowling against a 4 year old kid. The 1st game I got lucky by getting a strike and I ended up beating him 100 to 86. The second game was more close of 99 to 87.…
Things You’ve Always Wanted to Know…
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas…
Blonde Logic
Blonde Logic Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooo oooo, can…
Why Politicians Are Always the Most Expensive Dish
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu… + Tourist: $5 + Broiled Missionary: $10.00 + Fried Explorer: $15.00 +…
Women Explained by Engineers
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My Private Part Died Today
An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing Home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. “Yes, Nurse Tracy,” said Mr. Wallace,…
First Kiss
It’s your First Kiss and several questions might come to mind: Is it the right time? Is anyone watching? Does your partner even want to? Is your breath fresh? AND,—Should you use some tongue? Then you say…’What the heck!’ and…
Great Elephant Story
In 1986, Mike Membre was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so…
Fishing at Pearl Harbor
Today my boy and I went fishing over by Pearl Harbor. We were there for 5 hours and didn‚Äö√Ñ√¥t officially catch anything. My boy had a fish on the line, but it was his 1st time reeling in a fish…
College Graduation
I finally graduated college with a Bachelor’s Degree of Science in Software Engineering. It seems as though I was on the 10-year plan to obtain a 4-year degree. I swear the only people who go to school longer than me…
How To Spot A Redneck Hunter With A DUI Conviction
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What To Wear When The Wife Has Chores For You…
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Job Question
The boss was looking to hire a new manager, so he interviewed dozens and narrowed their search down to three people. In an attempt to pick one of them, he decided to give them all the same question to answer…
Sleeping Around
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