Trust me I’m an Engineer
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Category: Humor
Living Will
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Retirement Occupation
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage…
Never Under-estimate the Person Seated Next to You
A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started…
Colin the Brave
A rich man living in Balwyn decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in…
Saudi Arabia Vehicle Cover
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Vote Early and Often
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VII We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public…
Read the Instructions
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His and Hers Parking
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Italian Solution
A Catholic priest, a doctor, a rich businessman , and an Italian Guy from New York were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Italian Guy from New York fumed, ‘What’s with…
Dentist Appointment
After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times…
Mouse is Jammed
Caller: Hi, our printer is not working. Customer Service: What is wrong with it? Caller: Mouse is jammed.. Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse! Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?… I’ll send a picture. Related Posts Stuck Pen Issues With…
The Golf Nut
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out…
A Bridge Too Far
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, ‘because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will…
First Time Sex
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go…
Hell of a Day
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. “Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly,…
Homeland Security: Grocery Store
There was a bit of confusion at the Local Jay C grocery store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman…
Dear Abby
Dear Abby, My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his…