Category: Humor

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is…

Ole Vas working at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentlycut off all ten of his finkers. He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar daNorsky doctor looked at Ole and…

Last year at Christmas time, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional holiday feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the…

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God. It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is…

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container…

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on ”Observation”. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. “This”, he explained, “is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste.” After saying…

Dear Abby,My husband is not happy with my mood swings. So for Christmas he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I’m in…

A professor of law had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, “Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and…

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me,…

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and…

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks…

On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom “Since we’re married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening if my hair is done, that means I don’t want sex at all. If my…

Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. “Why?” asks the father. The teacher asked ”How much is 2×3,” I said ”6,” replies Tony. “But that’s right!” says his dad.’, ‘”Yeah, but then she asked…

Theteacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence andyou shoot one of them, how many will be left ?”She calls on Brooklyn Tony. He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”…

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he…

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,…

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I”m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re…