An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The general shouted, “Hey,…
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says: “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc,…
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila. Tequila is the safe, natural…
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” George replies, “God and…
A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, “I want to have sex with you right now! I’ll drop 500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time…
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out…
While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car,…
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing…
Jack (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?” Melanie (age 5) asked her Granny how old…
I went into my proctologist’s office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that…
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps? ” The clerk says, “What denomination? ” The blonde says, “Heaven help us. Has it…
A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As…
1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym. 2. It”s called a “gravel road. ” No matter how slow you drive, you”re going to get…
“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what”s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.’, ‘ ————————————————————————– “Aim towards the Enemy.” –…
Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead…
They enjoyed each other’s company very much and at the end of the evening. Sharon invited Jim to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together. Finally, tired and satisfied, they…
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales began. The first said, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why,…
10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother.9. While I’m up, can I get you a beer?8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.7. Her tits are just too big.6. Sometimes I just want to be held.5. That chick…
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, they took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who…