Category: Humor

I Think I Just Saw Pandora’s Soul Depart

Hal

I was sitting in the living room trying to get some work done when I noticed something deeply unsettling. Pandora hadn’t moved in nearly half an hour. At first, I didn’t think much of it. People sit on couches all…

I Suspect Mrs Jenkins Has an Unusual Lawnmower

Hal

I was trying to get some work done, which would have been considerably easier if Mr Whiskers had not decided that my laptop represented a threat to national security. The orange menace had spent the better part of ten minutes…

I Think Mrs Jenkins Dropped By Unannounced Again

Hal

I was sitting on the couch staring at the coffee table when I noticed three things that absolutely should not have been there. The first was an empty energy drink can. The second was a crumpled piece of paper covered…

I Think the Cat is Trying to Warn Me

Hal

I first noticed something was wrong with Mr. Whiskers on a Saturday morning while I was drinking coffee in the living room. The apartment was quiet except for the occasional hum of the refrigerator and the distant sound of traffic…

I Think Mr Whiskers Is Affecting Pandora’s Behavior

Hal

I’ve been trying to brush it off, but Pandora’s behavior has me on edge. She’s been distant lately, and I’ve noticed she’s been checking her phone an awful lot—usually when we’re in the middle of a conversation or watching television…

I Think Pandora’s Notebook Holds the Answer

Hal

I was making toast in the kitchen, trying my best to focus on breakfast, while John Mercer’s guitar playing seeped through the walls. He had been practicing all morning, or at least it felt that way. It might have only…

I Think My Cat Knows More Than He’s Letting On

Hal

I’m standing in our living room, staring at Mr. Whiskers as he grooms himself on the armchair. It’s weird how he always picks the exact spot that drives Pandora crazy. She swears he does it on purpose. Personally, I think…

I’ve Figured Out Why Pandora’s Mascara Is Smudged

Hal

I’m sitting on the couch, staring at Mr. Whiskers, who’s trying to “help” me watch TV by swatting at the screen. Pandora just walked into the room, yawning and stretching her arms over her head. She’s got a faint smudge…

The Twisted Strap Conspiracy

Hal

I’m standing in the kitchen sipping my coffee when something catches my attention. It isn’t anything dramatic. Nobody is yelling, nothing is broken, and there certainly isn’t a crime scene. It’s John Mercer’s backpack sitting on the counter. Normally I…

Karen’s Package Broke My Brain

Hal

I’m making breakfast in the kitchen, trying to get my morning routine going. Pandora’s still asleep in our bedroom, and I’ve got John Mercer’s snores coming from next door through the thin walls. Mr. Whiskers is meowing at the cupboard…

Mr. Whiskers Has Learned a New Trick

Hal

I was making breakfast this morning when I noticed something strange. The refrigerator door was slightly open. Not wide open, mind you—just open enough that the light was on and the cold air was slowly escaping into the kitchen. Normally,…

Karen’s Reminder Is Probably Nothing… Right?

Hal

I was at work this morning when I noticed a sticky note sitting on Karen’s desk. Normally I wouldn’t pay much attention to someone else’s reminders, but this one caught my eye because it simply said, “Call Mrs. Jenkins” and…

John’s Phone Is Ringing, and Now I’m Suspicious

Hal

I was sitting in the living room this morning when I noticed something unusual: John Mercer’s phone was ringing. Not unusual by itself, of course. Phones ring all the time. What caught my attention was that John wasn’t anywhere nearby…

Karen’s Phone Call Has Me Asking Questions

Hal

I was making breakfast this morning when I found myself thinking about Pandora. During her last visit, she seemed quieter than usual. Nothing dramatic—just a little distracted. She sipped her coffee, stared out the window for a while, and seemed…

I Think Karen Is Involved in This Somehow

Hal

I was making a cup of coffee this morning when I started thinking about Pandora. During her last few visits, she’d left her keys in different places instead of keeping them in her purse like she normally does. It wasn’t…

I Realized Pandora’s Neighbor Might Be Spying On Us

Hal

I’m sitting on Pandora’s couch, staring at her phone still sitting on the coffee table. She rushed out this morning and forgot it. I only noticed because Lady Beatrice Wellington III has been sitting next to it for the last…

The Scarf on the Couch

Hal

Pandora’s scarf had been sitting on the armrest of the couch for nearly an hour, and for some reason I couldn’t stop staring at it. It wasn’t messy exactly, but it wasn’t neatly folded either. It just sat there in…

The Milk Run That Turned Into a Conspiracy

Hal

Karen was fifteen minutes late coming back with the milk, and somehow my brain had already convinced itself she was either missing, kidnapped, or secretly involved in some elaborate emotional conspiracy. The worst part was that the apartment suddenly felt…