Category: Photos

Movie Scenes That Are Not Quite Right

Dave


Hey, Samari Warrior, what time is it?


Hey, Dude!…Put your finger on the trigger!


Trojan War? Check. Jet in the sky? Check.


Costumes?….Bows?….Arrows?….Cell phone?…Action!


What? Oh, I remember now….Adidas….Founded in 1635

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Great Elephant Story

Dave


In 1986, Mike Membre was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Membre approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Membre worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Membre stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Membre never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Membre was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Membre and his son Cantri were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Membre, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Membre couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Membre summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Membre’s legs and raised him high into the air and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

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We Do Not Spank

Dave


Most of America’s populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of “those moments.”

One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Sincerely,
Your Friend ********

P.S. I think this will work with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.

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Top Secret

Dave

TOP SECRET
This was sent to me by an associate in the surveillance field. I am sharing it with friends and family on a need to know basis. I can not vouch for its validity.

SECURITY PHOTO: CONFIDENTIAL
The photo is a video capture from a security camera located in the North Corridor that leads to the Senate floor in the US Capitol Building.

topsecret.jpg

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Letter to Mum and Dad

Dave

Dear Mom and Dad,
You’ll be happy to hear that I have finally left my black boyfriend. I know you both didn’t approve of him because of his race and the fact that he is ten years older than me. I found, as you suggested, a white boy the same age as me. Attached is a recent photo of the two of us. He’s looking forward to meeting you both.

Your loving daughter,
Jenny

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How To Get Kicked Out of The Air Force 101

Dave


Who says AF people aren’t a little wild…

When it gets hot outside on the flight line, people get a little crazy!!

A few days ago somebody found a pic of a KC-135 guy marshaling a jet in his underwear. The next day Airman Jerknuts of our grand 34th AMU decided to out do the tanker guy. I think our guy won!

The chief lost his mind over this. He read 11 people their rights and they all lawyered up. The chief confiscated a bunch of cameras (not before the pics got put on laptops of course) The kid asked everyone if they minded, including the aircrew and super, no one cared.

There’s a huge cluster-gaggle with it. Apparently every lawyer in the AOR plus a few extras have to be flown in for this.

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Charmane Star

Dave


Charmane Star came to Hawaii for a promotional show at Club 939 in Honolulu, so I had to go check her out. I got there at about 9 PM and she came out at about 10 PM. She performed a sexy little dance, then took a break. After her break she sat in a booth for some meet and greet. It was during the meet and greet that I had to get my photo taken with her otherwise nobody would have believed that I met her. I got a short chance to talk with her, she seemed pretty cool and down to earth. She asked me what I wanted her to write on the Polariod I got taken with her, so I told her something funny like, “Bald is beautiful.” So she did it. Then I went back and got one of her professional photos and had her sign that too.

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