Category: Thoughts

Interesting Houses

Interesting Story

I’m reminded of the time that Catherine, a little girl in our neighborhood told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with me – and I asked Catherine – ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’ Catherine replied …

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Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that His bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: …

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Casa D’Ice Restaurant Signs

Casa D’Ice Restaurant is just 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh in North Versailles, PA ). The owner changes the signs whenever he gets another idea…Or just wants to make a [political] statement and WOW! The only problem? He uses some pretty foul language to make his points.

Fairy Tale

Retirement Info

Here’s a little retirement info for you: If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of …

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Differences Between Women And Men

1. NAMES If Rebecca, Linda, Anna and Jeanne go out for lunch, they will call each other Rebecca, Linda, Anna and Jeanne. If Mark, Harold, Dave and Rob go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Harold, Dave and …

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Urine Test

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do …

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Minorities – Show Some Compassion

They travel miles in the heat. They risk their lives crossing a border. They don’t get paid enough wages. They do jobs that others won’t do or are afraid to do. They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language. They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day …

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Left Brain vs Right Brain

¬¨‚Ć Most of us would see the dancer turning counter-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it. LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć uses logic¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć detail oriented¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć facts rule¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć words and language¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć present and past¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć math and science¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć can comprehend¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć knowing¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć acknowledges¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć order/pattern perception¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć knows object name¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć reality based¬¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ƭ¨‚Ć …

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How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier: “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of …

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Money

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. SON : “Daddy, may I ask you a question?” DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?” SON : “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?” DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do …

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George Carlin’s Solution to Save Gasoline

The President of the United States wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq …

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Atheist in the Classroom

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of thecourses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to theceiling and flatly stated, “God, …

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A Soldiers Wish

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,Transforming the yard to a winter delight.The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,Completed the magic that …

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$20.00

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to …

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Thailand Crocodile Show

Today I went over to the Pattaya crocodile farm and watched a crocodile show. The only thing I can say is, “Holy Crap!” This guy climbed into a pit with a bunch of crocodiles. He then began to do things like open their mouths and stick his hand in it. Then he tapped their teeth …

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Mexican Boarder Wall Problem Solved

Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border, take the dirt and raise the levies in New Orleans, and then put the Florida alligators into the border moat! Any other problems you would like for me to solve?

Big Island Hawaii – Creepy Photo

Normally I wouldn’t think very much of photos like these, however in this instance I actually know the person who took the photo. He said he was on the Big Island of Hawaii and went to visit relative’s grave site. While he was there he took this photo of an unknown person’s grave. When you …

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New Pharmacology

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After …

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The Marine

A Marine was attending a college course between missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The professor, an avowed atheist, shocked the class one day when he walked in, looked toward the ceiling, and said loudly, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” …

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Guns Don’t Kill People, Doctors Do

Think about this: Doctors:(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician are 0.171.Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services Now think about this: Guns:(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that”s …

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USS Arizona Memorial

Went to the USS Arizona Memorial. It certainly was a somber experience to think that 1,177 officers and crewmen died in the blink of an eye. Here are my photos from my experience.

“Somebody” Knows Jack About Motherhood

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby…somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother,”normal” is history. Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct…somebody never took a three-year-old shopping. Somebody said being a mother is boring…somebody never rode in a car driven …

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Make Time for Loved Ones

After 21 years of marriage, My wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.” The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who …

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C-130 Pilot’s Story

“There I was at six thousand feet over central Iraq, two hundred eighty knots and we”re dropping faster than Paris Hilton”s panties. It”s a typical September evening in the Persian Gulf; hotter than a rectal thermometer and I”m sweating like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. But that”s neither here nor there. The night …

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Bad Day at Work

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she …

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Rejection Line

In case you meet anybody who you don”t want to give your telephone number to, but you do anyway because you feel bad – try this instead: Rejection line: If you are a woman/man and are constantly approached by unattractive or undesirable women/men asking for your phone number, give them this number: Boston: 617-658-7083 New …

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Stupid Statistics

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that”s more like it!) …

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Don’t Close the Blinds

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that …

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For Veteran’s Day

I watched the flag pass by one day, It fluttered in the breeze. A young Marine saluted it, And then he stood at ease.. I looked at him in uniform So young, so tall, so proud, With hair cut square and eyes alert He”d stand out in any crowd. I thought how many men like …

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Want to work here?

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: 29 have been accused of spousal abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad checks 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time …

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Homeowners in Hawaii Need to Maximize Use of Solar Energy

As many people in Hawaii know, there is an abundance of sunlight in the state. This paper is going to explain to you why homeowners in Hawaii should maximize use of solar energy. First, this article will cover some of the reasons why many homeowners currently do not utilize our largest natural energy source, followed …

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Radio Station Took Suggestion

A person I work with showed me a website with photos of a person for a “Thong of the Day” and a “Babe of the Day.” Although this website had a great idea I have never listened to this radio station before. I do however listen to another radio station and they had a link …

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What does a college degree do for you?

Typically after high school, everybody has aspirations of furthering their education by going to college. What does an associate’s degree really do for you though? It was this question that intrigued me to start asking business professionals who have already attained their degree what it actually did for them. The common response I got back …

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Is Reverse Racism Culturally Accepted?

The subject of the “race card” has been way over played time and time again. Its probably because everybody is sick of hearing about how 20 year old punk kids were repressed for so many years simply because they were black. As well all know, that’s bullshit! That is just an angle that people know …

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Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Have you ever heard somebody say, “Is your glass half full or half empty?” I was in Okinawa in 2000, when I went to Airman Leadership School. It was a management school for the United States Air Force. The school seemed like a bunch of propaganda to “re-blue” you for the Air Force. In other …

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Insomniac?

What do you do when you can’t sleep? I have managed to go through a big bottle of sleeping pills that I’ve been taking for the last couple months. It seems I can’t get on a regular sleeping schedule and I usually end up staying awake all night. Then as the sun comes up I …

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Republican / Democrat, What is the Difference?

With the voting season coming I would like to share a few thoughts with you. First off I would like to say that I don’t pressure anybody into voting. The reason behind this is because it is a right and who am I to tell you what rights you should concern as your highest priority. …

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Do You Ever Feel Like a Stupid, Dummy?

Well it seems that I suck at taking tests. Today I went back for my 3rd retake of the Microsoft 70-290 exam. I was previously showing progress, but this time I was tired going into take the exam and it showed. I couldn’t think straight if my life depended on it. That’s what happens when …

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Do Presidential Candidate Rallies Really Help? Use the Money More Productively.

Since this is an election year there are going to be a few stories about the upcoming election. To go along with that there is one thing that really boggles my mind. First to kind of hit on the topic, I would like to ask if you have ever been sitting at home contemplating which …

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Shaping the Future for the Next Generation of Terrorists?

By what is happening in Iraq, Afghanistan, Isreal, and other countries, is this shaping the future for the next generation of terrorists? Look at this simple scenario. Lets say a kid has his father killed while fighting for what he believes is right. Now this kid grows up with a lot of rage and fury …

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Spandex – A Privledge Not a Right!

I was in K-Mart the other day and I saw this fat lady in the store wearing some short shirt that did not cover her fat belly and spandex shorts. First off I would like to say anytime a woman’s belly is bigger than her breasts, that is not a good thing. Second of all …

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Does a Certain Song Bring Back That Certain Memory?

The other day I heard the song by Cher – Believe. Normally I wouldn’t really pay attention to a bad knockoff of techno like this, except it made me start thinking of the first place I heard it. The first time I heard this song was in Florida. I remember it vividly because I was …

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Atkins Diet is No Answer for Lack of Self Discipline

Everybody from McDonalds to Subway seems to be jumping on the bandwagon for this Atkins diet. Atkins may be a good diet, but for most fatasses out there it will not be the answer to getting slim as opposed to getting off your fat ass and doing a little exercise. A sucessful mathmatical equation to …

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Grey Area With Copyright Infringement

I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I don’t want to run into trouble. Lets say I create an image for a kid that looks like Nemo from Walt Disney’s movie “Finding Nemo” and somebody else sees this image and says I stole it from Disney. Is that considered copyright infringement? Especially since no …

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Sifting Through Bookstore Bullshit

I went to the bookstore today and I was looking through the computer books. The thing I noticed when I was trying to find the right book was that there are a million books and half of them are about the same things, but just written by different people who are asking way too much …

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Drinking Etiquette

Occasionally when I’m out drinking with friends there is a stranger who will walk up and want to tell you his life story. I’m always more than 100% willing to listen to what they have to say, but it always comes at a cost. I consider it good etiquette that if you are going to …

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Punishment For US soldiers in Iraq for Abuse

It is going to be interesting to see what kind of punishment the soldiers in Iraq will get. The interesting thing won’t be the example the military is going to make out of them, but instead because they are enlisted soldiers, will they get imprisonment? This is interesting because we know the only thing US …

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Wireless Insecurities

You would be surprised how many people out there have wireless networks running at home or at a place of business. You would be even more surprised how many people do not change the factory default settings. I recently set myself up on a wireless network before I even set my router up I was …

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