What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.The garage is all yours.Wedding plans take care of themselves.Chocolate is just another snack…You can be President.You can never be pregnant.You can wear a white T-shirt to a…
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In 2012 both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day. This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little…
First came the commemorative coins, then the T-shirts, and then the plates! Now, something for the rest of us…Use sparingly…I find that it irritates my ass! Related Posts Stick It: The Fun and Fascination of National Sticker Day McDonald’s Burger…
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.” I saw a poor old lady fall over…
Why we shoot deer in the wild. (A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this) I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed…
This is a deceptively simple philosophy that I have been working on and refining for most of my life. I am delighted to say that I believe I have refined it down to its essence – sufficiently to share it…
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The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance…The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,…
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.…
Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe: ‘Really?’ Moe: ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’ Related Posts What Part of Your Body Goes to Heaven First? Temptation Little Johnny Doesn’t Need Anything
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?’ The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’ ‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up. Related Posts…
Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records. Related Posts Pet Fish Just a Wee Bit…. Bond Set for Michael Moffatt Charged With Shooting Wife
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words…
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’ ‘Me neither, doc,’ said the husband. ‘But she’s a great cook…
‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’the divorce Court Judge said, ‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.’ ‘That’s very fair, your honor,’ the husband said. ‘And every now and then I’ll try to send…
A little boy went up to his father and asked: ‘Dad, where did my intelligence come from?’ The father replied. ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, ’cause I still have mine.’ Related Posts He Wore His…
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, ‘I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?’ Larry replied, ‘I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?’ Related Posts After…
