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Category: Humor
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING. 5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE. 7. IF YOU…
Thirsty Taliban
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a…
Proof That The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense!) In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine…
They Can’t Be At WalMart All the Time
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Photo of a Wife
The old man goes to answer a knock at the door one evening only to find two sherrif deputy’s standing there. “Sir, are you married?” One deputy asked. “Why yes,” the old man replied “for 48 years.” “Do you have…
The Great Barroom Miscommunication of the Century
I was standing at the bar and this Chinese guy comes in and stands next to me…I said to him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?” He says “No, why the fluck…
New Clothing Shop
There’s a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets. Related Posts Unattended Baggage Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims Prevent Terrorists…
Apple Scrapped Their Plans for a New Product
I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children’s-oriented iPod after realizing that “iTouch Kids” is not a good product name. Related Posts iPod Touch How the iPhone Changed the World Forever — The Dawn of the…
Prepare for the Worst
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I went down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back. Related Posts The Husband’s T-shirt Socially Unacceptable Humor Christmas lights
Talking Behind My Back
A wife says to her husband “You’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back.” And he says “What do you expect? You’re in a wheelchair!” Related Posts Hospital Regulations Hospital Regulations Bus Seat
My Wife is Dead
A man calls 911 and says “I think my wife is dead”. The operator says, “How do you know?” He says “The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!” Related Posts Love’s Fiery Revenge: A Tale…
Little Johnny Doesn’t Need Anything
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home. 1st kid says “A computer”. Teacher replies “That’d be very useful.” 2nd kid says “a new lawn mower” and gets a similar response.…
Cost of Living
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can’t afford batteries! Related Posts 44 Years of Marriage Red Skeleton’s Tips for a Happy Marriage Christmas lights
Too Many Immigrants in Britain?
Question – Are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said “I am not understanding the question please.” Related Posts They Sent My Census Form Back Polish Sausage A Senior Citizen
New Gym Equipment
Just been to the gym. They’ve got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It’s great though. It provides me with everything I need – KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers,…
Thrown Out of School
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said “Son, that’s 3 schools this year! You’d better stop before you’re banned from teaching altogether.” Related Posts Teachers &…
Love the Hot Weather
The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops….although, they do make me look a bit gay. Related Posts Sunkissed Style: The Hottest Swimwear Trends of Summer Japanese Fashion: Coming Soon to…