Month: November 2004
Rejection Line
In case you meet anybody who you don”t want to give your telephone number to, but you do anyway because you feel bad – try this instead: Rejection line: If you are a woman/man and are constantly approached by unattractive…
Apache Helicopters in Action
It is not advisable to be on the receiving end of one of these apache helicopters. Related Posts Black Hawk Helicopters in Action Naval Air Station Coronado North Island Awesome Helicopter Paint Job
Black Hawk Helicopters in Action
Here are some Black Hawk helicopters in action over the skies in Iraq. Related Posts Naval Air Station Coronado North Island Apache Helicopters in Action Iraqi Things
Stupid Statistics
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas…
3 Certainties
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 60s or early 70s. “Can I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Natalie’ the man replied. “Sir, Natalie is one…
Poker Player
Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he couldn”t help but notice that Bill”s wife Sue”s, legs were spread wide and…
Napkins for a special occasion
My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then…
Want to Curl Up and Die?
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never. My husband…
Don’t Close the Blinds
The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and…
Signs You’ve Grown Up
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can”t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when…
Government
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you”ve…
Monica Lewinsky
Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself in a mirror. Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help. “God…if you take away my…
Honesty, Thimbles, and Mel Gibson
One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river when her thimble fell into the water. As she began to cry, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The seamstress replied that her thimble had…
Love’s Fiery Revenge: A Tale of Unexpected Strength
A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed in the back…
Fifty Dollars
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I”d like to ride in that airplane.” Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and…
Difference Between Men and Women Showering
How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any…