Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.…
Category: Humor
Misuse of the Term Towel Heads
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Budweiser Wisdom
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Illegal Mexican Versus E.T.
What’s the difference between an illegal Mexican and E.T.? E.T. looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own damn bike, and wanted to go home! Related Posts Spelling Minorities – Show Some Compassion Tacos El Gordo
Fortune Teller
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I screwed a girl named “Penny.” Is that spooky or what? Related Posts Fortune Cookie Fortune Want to Curl Up and…
Coming or Going
My wife just came in and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going. ”I said to her, “Judging by the look on your face, you’re going – ‘cus when you’re coming, you look like a Down Syndrome…
Sorry for not Calling
Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the heck out of this idiot at a party. In my defense…when you hear an Arab counting down from 10,…
Text Message
Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol’ Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick….. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”…
Testicle Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at…
Male Logic
A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife…
Cowboy Tombstone
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the “Coolest Headstone” contest. FIVE…
Romantic Story
My wife, being the romantic sort, just sent me a text… If you are sleeping, send me your dreams If you are laughing, send me your smile If you are eating, send me a bite If you are drinking, send…
A Letter From Little Timmy To Santa
Dear Santa, How are you ?…How is Mrs. Claus ? I hope the reindeer and the elves are all doing fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty…
Temptation
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?’ The rabbi…
Drink Responsibly
I would like to share a personal experience with my closest friends about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional…