Category: Humor

Children are Quick

Dave

TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do…

Vegetarian

Dave

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British Humor is Different

Dave

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.…

Canadian Waterskiing

Dave

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Curious Claims and Everyday Wisdom

Dave

1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes. 2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years. 3. There are…

Any Drugs?

Dave

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They walk among us!

Dave

1.They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to…

Having a Bad Day?

Dave

How’s Your day Going? Hope it’s way better than these people experienced…….Yikes! Related Posts How is Your Day Going? Happy New Year 2008! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2017

How to Call the Police When You’re Old

Dave

Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door…

The Real Laws

Dave

1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. 2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible…

Undesirable Face Tattoo

Dave

Brings new meaning to the term, “Dickhead.” Related Posts Why is the Bathroom on a Ship Called The Head? What’s in a name? Dick Move Band Lives Up to Their Name

The Parrot

Dave

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. “Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said,…

2014 College Football Humor

Dave

Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.” ______________________________________ Why do Tennessee fans wear…

Beer!

Dave

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Chinese Winnie the Pooh Fired on the 1st Day

Dave

How do you manage to get fired on the first day in a Winnie the Poo costume? By putting on your costume pants backwards. Related Posts Ole & Lena Beyond the Costume: Empowerment, Expression, and Respect in the World of…

Aircraft Maintenance Humor

Dave

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a’gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the…

A Positive Attitude

Dave

He finally awoke from his coma, stiff as a board and in pain in the hospital’s ICU, with tubes up his nose & down his throat, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. It was obvious…

Women Golf Pro Advantage

Dave

Who says women pro golfers are at a disadvantage to men? Michelle Wie – pro golfer. Matching lavender outfit worth $2000. New pair of French sunglasses worth $500. NIKE products Endorsements worth $10,000,000. That handy gadget to hold your putter…

Betty White Advice

Dave

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Always Wear Underwear

Dave

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