Category: Humor

Getting Old

Dave

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Replacement Windows

Dave

The author recently replaced their home’s windows with energy-efficient models and received a call from the contractor regarding an unpaid balance.

Signs

Dave

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Darwin Awards

Dave

Here is the glorious winner: 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the…

A Loving Grandpa

Dave

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit…

Just a Wee Bit….

Dave

“An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman. Shortly there after he met…

Disco

Dave

Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moon-walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy? 25 years ago he…

Confucius Say…

Dave

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What’s With All The Feathers?

Dave

A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses. “Feathers show number of sexual partners,” the chief replied. Indicating a nearby young brave, he continued, “Him? One woman, one…

Vive la France

Dave

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that…

Walking on the Grass

Dave

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself,…

Presidents Day

Dave

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Presidents Day!” She’s smart, so I asked her “What does Presidents Day mean?” I was waiting for something…

The Man Who Gave up Sex for Golf

Dave

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. “Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt,” the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and…

Do Elephants Remember?

Dave

In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed,…

Bar Room Logic

Dave

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand’s Pizza, Washington, DC Fighting for peace is like Screwing for virginity. The…

Christmas 2013

Dave

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Christmas Lights

Dave

This Is Why I Don’t Put Christmas Lights On A Palm Tree. Related Posts Christmas lights From Pines to Stockings: Unearthing the Stories Behind Christmas Traditions Have You Ever Wondered Where the Christmas Tree Came From?