November 2012 archive

Sniffer

A man had just Boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed …

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Vote for Parent of the Year 2012

Horse Races

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. ‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’. The man then said ‘When I …

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Motivational Posters #9

Medical News

Medical science has finally found the correct and most accurate way to measure blood pressure for men.

Advances in RT(RedneckTechnology)

Christmas Shopping

A couple was Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the whole place was heaving, packed with other last minute shoppers. Walking through the shopping centre the surprised wife looked up from a window display and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen. She knew they had lots still to do and she became very …

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Sperm Count

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’ The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the do ctor’s office and gave him the jar, …

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Complete vs. Finished

It has been said that no English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London , England , and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner. His final challenge was …

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Strong Coffee

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido. ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor. ‘Not a chance’, she said… ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’ ‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’… ‘What is Irish Viagra?’, she asked. It’s when …

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Matsumoto Castle, Japan

Went to Matsumoto castle today. This is a really cool castle because it lies in the heart of the city with a moat around it and from the castle you have a spectacular panoramic view of the city, the surrounding area, and the mountains. You can clearly understand why this location was chosen to put …

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Nagano, Japan

Stayed at the Island Hotel (2-15-8 Minamichitose, Nagano, Nagano Prefecture 380-0823), Nagano today and snapped a couple of photos from the window of the hotel. Here is what Nagano looks like from that perspective.

Takei Shrine – Nagano, Japan

Explored Nagano, Japan today and stopped and looked at the Takei Shrine. Here is the photo I took of it. The weather was cold and rainy.

A Pilot Father’s Tough Love

Since I’m a pilot, one method that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behavior. I don’t know whether it’s the steady vibration from the engines, or just …

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The Penis Poem by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I’ve got a full time job, To find the f***in’ thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way …

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Are You From Ireland?

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snapped back saying, “It’s WALES , you friggin’ idiot!” So, I immediately apologized and said, …

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Too True

Men

A man was granted two wishes by God, he asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa. ********************************************************* There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. Rest get married …

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Trust me I’m an Engineer

Living Will