Philosophers’ Views of Wives and Marriage

  • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
  • David Bissonette

  • After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together..
  • Sacha Guitry

  • By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
  • Socrates

  • Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
  • Anonymous

  • The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?”
  • Dumas

  • I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
  • Sigmund Freud

  • ‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’
  • Anonymous

  • ‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’
  • Sam Kinison

  • ‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives.
    The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’
  • James Holt McGavra

  • Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
  • Patrick Murra

  • The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once….
  • Nash

  • You know what I did before I married?
    Anything I wanted to.
  • Anonymous

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
    Then we met.
  • Henny Youngman

  • A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
  • Rodney Dangerfield

  • A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’
  • Anonymous

  • First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’
    Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’
  • Anonymous

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