March 2015 archive

Hollywood Squares

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Q.. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you’re going to make …

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Sweater

A blond was speeding down the highway knitting a sweater, yes a sweater. A police officer notices this, pulls up next to her, and yells! “PULL OVER”, “No” she politely replies, a turtleneck.

Socrates

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?” “Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the …

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Photos of Poway, California

Today I went on an adventure and ended up at Poway. This is a cool little town in the California countryside. It has old style trains, buildings, and has a western feel about it. Here are photos of that experience.

Deer Crossing

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing …

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Liquor Store Robber

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store …

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Record Store Robber

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”. When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Corner Store Robber

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the …

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Speed Trap

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter …

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Bank Robber

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag”. While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he …

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