Questions & Answers

Q: What’s a mixed feeling?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q: What’s the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q: What’s the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A: They spray paint X’s on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it’s worth it.

Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

Q: What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
A: About three inches.

Q: What do you call a Lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well-Hung.

Q: What’s the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It’s not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don’t have balls to scratch.

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