Dave

Author's posts

Looking for a Good Book

Confucius say, “If you are in a book store and cannot find the book for which you search, you are obviously in the…..

American History

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodiaki a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: ‘Patrick Henry, 1775’he said. ‘Very good!’ Who said, ‘Government of the People, by …

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How a Bacon Cheeseburger is Made

This is how a bacon cheeseburger is made…this pic was sent to me by a high school friend of my wife. He owns a large meat company in Pennsylvania & he said that he heard it from his vet, so I know it’s true. Don’t bother checking Snopes.

Investment 101

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today! If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if …

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Californians

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this: You know you’re from California if… 1. Your coworker has 8-body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 a year and still can’t afford to buy a house 3. You take …

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Mount Fuji Climb

I went on a Mount Fuji climb today and here are some photos I took of my adventure. As you can see in this photo there is still some snow on the mountain even July.

Where the Texas Longhorn Logo Came From….

Emma Watson – Nice Pussy!

Penguins

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica – where do they go? Wonder no more !!! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will …

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Women

A real woman is a man’s best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She …

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Brave Man Jokes

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. How do you …

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Spelling

Did you know “listen” and “silent” use the same letters? Do you know that the words “race car” spelled backwards still spells “race car”? And that “eat” is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense “ate”? And have you noticed that …

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Would You Marry Again?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question…. WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?” HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” WIFE: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?” HUSBAND: “Of course I do..” WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you …

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1895 8th Grade Final Exam

What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895… Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895? This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA . …

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Frower Garden

The other day I went to the store and I was looking for some grass seed. I came upon this sign and thought it was funny enough to take a photo of.

Awkward Moment

The awkward moment is when your friend’s “fat arm” makes you look naked.

Stupid Men at Work

The Worlds Shortest Psychiatric Joke

A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office, wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap…… The psychiatrist says, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts.”

Why Men Shouldn’t Write Advice Columns

Mature Motivational Posters

Paraprosdokian

I had to look up “paraprosdokian.” Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian. 1. Do not argue with an idiot. …

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Let’s Offend Everyone

– I had just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage roll. A poor homeless man sat there and said ‘I’ve not eaten for two days’ I told him ‘I wish I had your f**king will power’. – I got fired on my …

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Bumper Sticker

If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you’re not a racist, vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you’re not an idiot.

Little Girl on a Plane

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would …

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Burial Question

I have just one question. Where did they bury the rest of him?

Lego Store

I walked by the Lego store and they had this in the window.

Interesting Car in Japan

I saw this crazy little one seater car today and thought it was interesting enough to take a photo of.

5 Minute Management Course

Lesson 1 A priest offered a Nun a lift…She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…….The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he …

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Sequoyah Birthplace Museum

Today I went to the Sequoyah birthplace museum near Vonore, Tennessee. This was a very interesting museum because it talked about Sequoyah and the Cherokee Indians. In the museum they talked about the Trail of Tears which relocated the Cherokee indians from Tennessee to Oklahoma. There was all sorts of artifacts and information. Here are …

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Bar Upsmanship

Sitting in a bar the Scotsman says, “As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.” “Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my …

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Fort Loudoun Tennessee

Stopped by Fort Loudoun in Tennessee to take a tour and see what life was like for the early settlers who manned the fort to protect the little Tennessee river.