There is a reason you don’t go into the weeds where it’s warm and wet looking for your golfball!
Author: Dave
I've always been curious about the world beyond my own backyard. While many people spend their entire lives close to where they were born, I've been fortunate enough to travel across the United States and around the world. Every place I've visited has challenged my assumptions in one way or another and reminded me that, despite our differences, people often have far more in common than they realize.
I don't write to tell personal stories for the sake of telling them, and I don't believe every article needs to revolve around me. Instead, I enjoy using my experiences as a starting point for exploring larger ideas. Whether it's something I noticed while walking through a market overseas, a conversation with someone from another culture, or simply observing how different communities solve similar problems, I'm interested in the lessons those moments can teach all of us.
Travel has given me perspective, but it has also taught me humility. The more places I visit, the more I realize there is still to learn. Every culture has something worth appreciating, and every journey has a way of expanding how we see the world and our place within it.
When I write, my goal is simple: to share thoughtful observations, compare perspectives, and encourage curiosity. I hope readers come away having learned something new—not just about another place, but about the world we all share. If one of my articles inspires someone to look at a familiar idea differently, ask a new question, or venture a little farther than they otherwise might have, then I've accomplished exactly what I set out to do.
Two Prostitutes – $50.00
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which read: ‘Two Prostitutes — $50.00.’
Suddenly a passing patrol officer spotted the sign displayed on the top of their car, stopped them, and warned them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
About that time, another car passed by, with a sign saying: ‘JESUS SAVES.’
One of the girls asked the officer, ‘How come you don’t stop them?!’
‘Well, that’s a little different, ‘The officer smiled…,’Their sign pertains to religion.’
So the two ladies of the night frowned, and taking down their sign drove off.
The following day found the same patrol officer, in the area when he noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them, when he noticed that there was now a new sign which read:
Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter — $50.00
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How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting Flies” he responded.
“Oh. Killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked; “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”
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Least Hunted Animal
After almost 60 years of marriage…
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends’ home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 60 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”
The old man hung his head. “I have to tell you the truth, “he said, “Her name slipped my mind about ten years ago and I’m scared to death to ask her what it is.”
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If Condoms Had Sponsors…
Kaneohe BayFest 2008 – 3 Doors Down
This year for BayFest 2008 some of the bands playing are 3 Doors Down, Live, Everclear, and some country singer. It’s not everyday that a southern rock band comes to Hawaii so it’s a great chance to go check out some real music, as opposed to this local style music, and rock things out a little bit. In the past BayFest has had some pretty good bands like, Staind, Lynard Skynard, and others.
3 Doors down sparked my interest, so I went and checked them out today. I took some photos and short videos. My photos didn’t turn out very clear, but the video turned out ok. 3 Doors Down played some old, familiar, and some new songs off their new album. It was cool to get out and check the band out, but one thing that surprised me is that the lead singer and one guitarist were the only two people who actually moved around the stage. The other guys kind of just stood back and played the music. I thought that was kind of disappointing because I was expecting this band to be more lively and exciting. It was a pretty cool concert and finished off with some cool fireworks, so there are definitely no complaints here.
Watch the video:3 Doors Down – Kaneohe BayFest 2008
Watch the video:It’s Not My Time – 3 Doors Down – Kaneohe BayFest 2008
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4th of July in Hawaii
In Hawaii people don’t make as big of a deal about the Independence day of the United States, that is probably due to the large Asian population living in Hawaii. They seem to make a bigger deal out of New Year’s Eve than they do the 4th of July. So this year I went to celebrate the 4th of July with some people who really know how to party…the service men and women of the Marine Corps. stationed at Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii. For the last few years I have been coming to Kaneohe to celebrate the 4th of July because every year the MCCS puts on the Kaneohe Bayfest. This year I watched the fireworks while sitting under the wing of a P3 airplane and next to a Marine helicopter. Now that’s something you don’t do everyday!
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Interesting Story
I’m reminded of the time that Catherine, a little girl in our neighborhood told me that she wanted to be President one day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with me – and I asked Catherine – ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’
Catherine replied – ‘I would give houses to all the homeless people’.
‘Wow’! ‘What a worthy goal you have there Catherine’ I told her (while both parents beamed), ‘But, you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5 dollars. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5 to use toward a new house.’
Catherine (who was about 5) thought that over for a second, and then replied, ‘why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop himself, and you can pay him the $5 dollars.’
Welcome to the Republican Party, Catherine…
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USS Missouri
Went down to the USS Missouri (The Mighty MO) located in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii and took a tour and snapped some photos. Here are some of the photos. This was quite an experience. The USS Missouri shoots projectiles the size of a Volkswagen Bug up to 30 miles. Wow! Also it was quite a thing to stand on the exact spot where the Japanese signed their surrender to World War II in Tokyo Bay. If you ever get the opportunity, definitely go visit the USS Missouri and take in the whole experience.
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USS Bowfin
Took a tour of the USS Bowfin in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. Here are some of my photos from that experience.
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Bear Removal
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for ‘Bear Removers.’He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then, I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.
“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”
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Pond in the Back
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’
Some old men can still think fast.
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When your dog steals your moment:
Bullfrog
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend a fortune.
‘Well,’ said the clerk, ‘I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’s been trained to give blowjobs!’
‘Blowjobs!’ the woman replied.
‘It hasn’t been proven but we’ve sold 30 of them this month,’ he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it’s true…no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy’s ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
‘What are you two doing at this hour?’ she asked. The husband replied, ‘If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone.’
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Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that His bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, Tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion..Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
St acy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card That’s in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.
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The New Mercedes Benz SCL600
Your Hair Smells Good
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, “what’s sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies, ‘It’s Keith, the midget.”
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Human Statue of Liberty 1918
The picture was taken in 1918. It is thousands of men preparing for war in a training camp at Camp Dodge in Iowa. A gift from some of our grandfathers.
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State Fair
My wife and I went to the State Fair, and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR”
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs and said, ‘He mated 50 times last year.’ We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR.”
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.” We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR.”
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, “That’s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.” I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.”