Be glad it’s not your kid.
Category: Humor
Pants and Panties
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat. He said, ‘Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, ‘Here, try these on..” She did and said, ‘These …
A Powerful Message from Stevie Wonder on Michael Jackson’s
This is quite touching. ……. .. ‚ ‚ .. ‚.. .. . . ‚ . . . . . .. . .. ‚. .. .. . ‚ . . … … .. … … … …. …. …… … … … …. ….. .. . .. . . ‚ .. . . . .. … …
Which Would You Prefer?
All these clothes are currently available at Walmart.
Cowboy in Gay Bar
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it’s a gay bar. “What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a drink.” When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?” The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All …
Prevent Terrorists From Using Currency
Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting. The Canadians have considered to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Muslims from even touching it. It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism. Muslim terrorists have to …
The Dawn Keye Diet
A nurse, who has done a lot of research about dieting, has given information about the various popular diets including Atkins, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and the South Beach Diet. One diet about which you haven’t heard about previously, but which I insist works for almost everyone:
Differences Based Upon the View
Mount Rushmore from the Canadian Side.
Father’s Day
This one really touched my heart. Remember Father’s Day is Sunday June 21st. “Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in my Daddy’s computer.” “Amen.”
Grilling Tip
As every Southerner knows, come spring it is time to get ready for that all-important cooking technique of the south — outdoor grilling! I have just found out there are several stores (not just in the South) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q grill! You can get a free BBQ grill from any of …
An Actual Craig’s List Personal AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacke t that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for …
Obama was tricked
He did not intend to bow to the Saudi King.
IRS Audit
At the end of the tax year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?” “Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save …
Cat on the Roof
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.” The man was very upset …
Hey, Mister
A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tail gate for dear life! She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn’t been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him. A few …
Affairs
First Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. …
1st Day on the Job
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…… About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the …
Grandma & Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad; they’re very strong and very expensive.” “How much?” asked Grandpa. “$10.00 a pill,” Answered the son. …
Why I Fired My Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’ I thought… …
Greener Grass
Sometimes you can reach too far! And when you find yourself over-extended and you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of, there is one thing you should always remember……. Not everyone who shows up……Is there to help you!
Hunting Experience
We went hunting over the three day weekend and killed these two plus three smaller ones. I can’t remember how many shots it took, but it was a lot!
Talk About Luck
Can you believe it? This guy wins 181 million in the lottery on a Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just 2 days later. Talk about luck!
Don’t Choke on Food in the South
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough, and after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her …
Billy Bob Gets Deflowered
In a small town in Tennessee, Big Bubba decides it’s time for his son, 14 year old Billy Bob, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor. Bubba introduces Billy Bob to the madam, and explains that it’s time for …
