Category: Humor
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world. #8. Life is sexually transmitted. #7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and sex, and they can’t…
The Blonde Golfer
A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member…
40 Years of Marriage
A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for…
Best Insurance Story of the Year
This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the…
Do Not Smack a Cop’s Horse
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Wrong Lion
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10 Brutally Honest Thoughts I Probably Shouldn’t Say Out Loud
1. I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. 2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of…
Aphorisms for the Year
– It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. – We have enough “youth.” How about a fountain of “smart”? – A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party. – When…
The Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth…
Pubs, Scots Style
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Ring Ring Ring …
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg, ‘Hello?’ ‘Hi Honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the Phone? ‘. ‘No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.’ After a brief pause, Daddy says, ‘but Honey, you don’t have an Uncle Gabe.’ ‘Oh Yes…
What Starts With “F”
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what exactly is your problem?’ Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than…
Political Correctness
For the last six odd years, almost all of the things I wanted to write or say, have been stymied by that modern term referred to as ‘POLITICAL CORRECTNESS’.. Although I consider myself reasonably fluent in English, that term was…
The Importance of Water
Interview with 101 year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald of Feague, Kentucky: Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101? Hattie: For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss I drink white…
The Way Women Think
Husband’s Text Message to wife Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays. Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting…
Strange Things
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Things That Make You Smile
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