In preparation for the National Football League Super Bowl 50, where the Carolina Panthers took on the Denver Broncos, I decided to share the only stuff I have of either team. These videos are of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, the TopCats, when they came to military installations in the Pacific. These videos were taken on February 4, 2012. It was a real pleasure to meet these lovely ladies and to actually see them in action.
While I was at the 1st preseason game for the San Diego, Chargers on Thursday I saw a banner for Rock 105.3 FM. I thought it would be a great idea to take a photo of it and give a shout out to the awesome radio personalities over at the radio station. Eddie, Sky, Ashlee, & Thor this one’s for you.
Last night was the opening NFL preseason football game between the Dallas Cowboys and the San Diego Chargers. Here are some photos I took of the San Diego Charger Cheerleaders from that event.
I went to Qualcomm stadium for the 1st time in my life. I tried to get photos of outside the stadium and also inside the stadium. Here are my photos from that experience.
A foursome of guys are waiting at the men’s tee while a foursome of women are hitting from the ladies’ tee. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, “I guess all those f……… lessons I took over the winter aren’t helping”.
One of the men immediately responds: “Well, there you have it…You should have taken golf lessons instead!”
Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
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How many Ohio State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a sophomore course.
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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.”
The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”
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A Notre Dame University football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
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What do you say to a Louisiana State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit?”
“Will the defendant please rise.”
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
Who says women pro golfers are at a disadvantage to men?
Michelle Wie – pro golfer.
Matching lavender outfit worth $2000.
New pair of French sunglasses worth $500.
NIKE products Endorsements worth $10,000,000.
That handy gadget to hold your putter …. Priceless!!!
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.” “Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
“Yes?” said the Instructor.
“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. “Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt,” the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?”
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, “Sure,” and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, “Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one.”
The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, “Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?”
Shrugging, the golfer replies, “Okay.” And he makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win.
Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, “Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?”
“Definitely,” the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, “I haven’t really been fair with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m Satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life.”
“Nice to meet you, “the golfer replies, “I’m Father O’Malley.”
The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys
Q. How do you keep a Dallas Cowboy out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.
Q. What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Old
Q. What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody remembers.
Q. What do the Cowboys and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon.
“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”
“Oh God no!” cries the man “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”
“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm.
I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant.”
“Go for it doc” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. “Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.
“Just great,” says the businessman. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”
“That’s great,” said the surgeon.
“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolours.”
“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”
“Well, just one problem,” said the golfer.
“Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache.
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.”
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first..”
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say:
“I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,”
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treat us like mens.. He let us wear earrings..”
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes..”
(Now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height…”
And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ..”
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”
11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’”
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject. ”
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”
A Catholic priest, a doctor, a rich businessman , and an Italian Guy from New York were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Italian Guy from New York fumed, ‘What’s with those frickin’ jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’
The doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’
The rich businessman called out, ‘Move it, time is money!’
The Catholic priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!’ said the priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’
The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’ The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’
The doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’
The rich businessman replied, ‘I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!’
The Italian guy from New York said, ‘Why the f*** can’t they play at night?’
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, “I guess you can tell I’m very much in love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that’s going to be a problem for us, you’d better say so now!”
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, “Ed, that certainly won’t be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we’re being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I’ve been a hooker.”
Ed said, “I bet it’s because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”
Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.
Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
If you’re afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there..
The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors
Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents’ luck.
It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt. For a 10.
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts
It’s not a gimme if you’re still 5 feet away.
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
To calculate the speed of a player’s downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; I.e., back-swing 20 mph , handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.
There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
Hazards attract; fairways repel. Keep this in mind
A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint
It’s easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the lawn
A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.
A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you are….that’s why I get so many calls to play with friends
If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white. They’re sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.
It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don’t get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart, if you are performing Brain Surgery.
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE..NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
