The Penis Poem by Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I’ve got a…
Category: Thoughts
Never Under-estimate the Person Seated Next to You
A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started…
Homeland Security: Grocery Store
There was a bit of confusion at the Local Jay C grocery store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman…
Camp Zama, Japan – Building 101 Ducks
Every year on Camp Zama, Japan in building 101 there is a female duck who temporarily makes a Japanese garden her home while she lays her eggs and raises her babies. It is actually really smart because the Japanese garden…
Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student on an Exam
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student,…
Young King Arthur
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could…
Disorder in the American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges…
India School of Business – Lesson 1
Rajpat (father): I want you to marry a girl of my choice. Son: “I will choose my own bride!” Rajpat: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter..” Son: “Well, in that case… ok” Next Rajpat approaches Bill Gates. Rajpat: “I…
Andy Rooney on Sex
1. When I was born, I was given a choice – a big pecker or a good memory….I don’t remember what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. A wife is a…
One of the Best Anti-Carjacking Devices
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New Orleans Finest Entrepreneur
Lets get the players straight before we go on with this. LARMONDO “FLAIR” ALLEN His Companion: Kawanner Armstrong His Sons: Christian Allen Kwan Allen Larmondo Allen, Jr. His Daughters: Deidra Allen Larmenshell Allen Lamonshea Allen Larmomdriel Allen Larmerja Allen Korevell…
Where did Piss Poor Come From?
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery… if you had to do this to survive you…
Why Did Bernie Madoff Go To Prison?
Why did Bernie Madoff go to prison? To make it simple, he talked people into investing with him. Trouble was, he didn’t invest their money. As time rolled on he simply took the money from the new investors to pay…
Investment 101
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today! If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000…