Author's posts
Women!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were …
The Transformative Effects of Marriage on the Y-chromosome
The Transformative Effects of Marriage on the Y-chromosome. Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men….that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes . After a few days they meet again…..The engaged girlfriend …
Tattooist Takes Fan’s Request Literally
A supporter of Australian Football team Geelong Cats wanting a permanent reminder of the team’s AFL triumph has been left by a tattoo saying his team were “Gay Premiers 2007”. In a celebratory trip to Thailand last week “Neville”, a dyed-in-the-wool Cats fan, had 15 cans of beer to ease the pain of the 5-¬¨Œ© …
Inflatable Doll
Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, ‘Male or female?’ Customer says, ‘Female.’ Counter guy asks, ‘Black or white? Customer says, ‘White.’ Counter guy asks, ‘Christian or Muslim?’ Customer says, ‘What the hell does religion have to do with it?’ Counter guy says, ‘The Muslim …
Redneck Special Forces
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given onlythe following facts about terrorists : 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. …
All Catholic Girls Go To Heaven
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, “Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?” She giggles and shyly replies, “Well, I once touched the head of one …
44 Years of Marriage
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one Day and said, ‘Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a Sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. …
Casa D’Ice Restaurant Signs
Casa D’Ice Restaurant is just 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh in North Versailles, PA ). The owner changes the signs whenever he gets another idea…Or just wants to make a [political] statement and WOW! The only problem? He uses some pretty foul language to make his points.
You May Be A Taliban…
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, our troops in Afghanistan prove they’ve trained their sense of humor with the following: “You may be a Taliban if . . . 1) You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer. 2) You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but …
Deer or Dear?
A man goes deer hunting and successfully fills his freezer with venison. One night he cooks some up for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their …
Hawaii Pineapple by the Dole Cannery
The pineapple water tower by the Dole cannery.
Women vs Men
Woman’s Perfect Breakfast She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. Woman’s Revenge “Cash, check or …
Ed Zachary Disease
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex …
Retirement Info
Here’s a little retirement info for you: If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of …
Cold is a Relative Thing in Michigan
60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Michigan plant gardens. 50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Michigan sunbathe. 40 above zero: Italian & English cars won’t start. People in Michigan drive with the windows down. 32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Lake Michigan gets thicker. 20 above …
Movie Scenes That Are Not Quite Right
Hey, Samari Warrior, what time is it? Hey, Dude!…Put your finger on the trigger! Trojan War? Check. Jet in the sky? Check. Costumes?….Bows?….Arrows?….Cell phone?…Action! What? Oh, I remember now….Adidas….Founded in 1635
Puppies For Sale
I will soon have bird dog pups for sale. Anyone who is interested please contact me as soon as possible. The litter will probably be between 7 to 10 pups , which I will sell at a very reasonable price. Here is a photo of the parents of the litter, to give you an idea …