This actually happened with some guys from Maine .
They dressed the truck up with the guy spread-eagled on the roof.
The driver and passengers put on Moose heads.
They went down the Maine interstate toll road, causing 16 accidents.
And yes…they went to jail. And yes…alcohol was involved.
Went to Matsumoto castle today. This is a really cool castle because it lies in the heart of the city with a moat around it and from the castle you have a spectacular panoramic view of the city, the surrounding area, and the mountains. You can clearly understand why this location was chosen to put a castle. Another unique feature to this castle is that it has a moon room. This is where men would go to write poems to their women. This is one of my favorite castles because on the inside of this castle there is a hidden floor. This is where they would store gunpowder and goods like that. Also on the inside of this castle the staircases are at a low angle and not very steep, but the higher you go in the castle the steeper the stairs get and the further apart they become. This is to protect the dignitary from attack and make it more difficult for attackers to fight their way up each floor of the castle.
Explored Nagano, Japan today and stopped and looked at the Takei Shrine. Here is the photo I took of it. The weather was cold and rainy.
Traveled over to Holland, Michigan today and took some photos of the windmill and the interesting things there, here are my photos of that experience. Many people may not know it, but one of the working windmills was taken apart from Holland in the Netherlands and shipped to Holland, Michigan in the United States where it was put back together stone by stone. This was done in an agreement between the United States and the Netherlands. In turn for the agreement the United States must permit people to visit and put on tours to show how the windmills were used and share a little piece of culture from Holland. Every spring there is a tulip festival celebrated there.
My favorite Thai food is a dish called, “Neung Kapow.” This is a very common dish that can be found all throughout Thailand. The dish is made with beef, basil, oyster sauce, fish sauce, chili peppers and it is put on top of rice. The first place I ever had this dish was in Nakhon Ratchasima (Korat), Thailand in 2000. Some places I’ve seen where they call it “Pad Kapow,” but usually they will throw a cooked egg on top of it. I don’t like that. I have also seen where, depending on the location, they will throw chopped up green beans or onions in it. No matter where it is being made each area has it own unique twist to it, but the it is relatively the same dish. I found a Thai restaurant in Japan that makes this dish and it tastes very good. Sometimes in Japan you need to be careful because they will take a Thai dish and change it to the tastes of Japan so it is kind of a fusion dish. I don’t like that at all. Keep Thai food, Thai food. At the location in Japan I would buy oyster sauce and order the dish. Here are a couple photos of what the food looks like and this is a good brand of the oyster sauce.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
This student received an A+
This is nothing like the relationship between a man and his horse!
There are few things more dangerous than a perverted electrician with a pen.
This got the whole of Sydney laughing. Read it and you’ll see why! Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney . The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes.. The game is called ‘Mate Match’. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers ‘yes’, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions..
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with (phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. The Harbour City dropped to its knees with laughter in this particular case.
Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
DJ: ‘Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?’
Contestant: (laughing) ‘Yes, I have.’
DJ: ‘Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.’
Contestant: ‘Brian.’
DJ: ‘ Brian, are you married or what?’
Brian: (laughing nervously) ‘Yes, I am married.’
DJ: ‘Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.’
Brian: ‘Sara.’
DJ: ‘Is Sara at work, Brian?’
Brian: ‘She is gonna kill me.’
DJ: ‘Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?’
Brian: (laughing) ‘Yes, she’s at work.’
DJ: ‘Okay, first question – when was the last time you had sex?’
Brian: ‘About 8 o’clock this morning.’
DJ: ‘Atta boy, Brian.’
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) ‘Well…’
DJ: ‘Question #2 – How long did it last?’
Brian: ‘About 10 minutes.’
DJ: ‘Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.’
Brian: ‘Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.’
DJ: ‘Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) ‘I, ummm, I, well…’
DJ: ‘This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?’
Brian: ‘Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks…’
DJ: ‘Uh huh…’
Brian: ‘…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.’
DJ: ‘Atta boy, Brian.’
Brian: ‘On the kitchen table.’
DJ: ‘Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife’s work number and call her up.
You listen to this.’
[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: ‘Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?’ (Touch tones…..ringing….)
Clerk: ‘Kinkos.’
;
DJ: ‘Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?’
Clerk: ‘This is she.’
DJ: ‘Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.’
Sarah: (laughing) ‘A couple of hours?’
DJ: ‘Well, a while now. He is on the line with us.. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘Mate Match’?’
Sarah: ‘No.’
DJ: ‘Good!’
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) ‘Brian, what the hell are you up to?’
Brian: (laughing) ‘Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.’
DJ: ‘Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sara h: (laughing) ‘Yes.’
DJ: ‘Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?’
Sarah: ‘Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.’
DJ: ‘What time?’
Sarah: ‘Around 8 this morning.’
DJ: ‘Very good. Next question.. How long did it last?’
Sarah: ’12, 15 minutes maybe.’
DJ: ‘Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?’
Sarah: (laughing) ‘Yes.’
DJ: ‘Where did you have it?’
Sarah: ‘OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?’
Brian: ‘Just tell him, honey.’
DJ: ‘What is bothering you so much, Sarah?’
Sarah: ‘Well…’
DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?
Sarah: ‘Up the arse…..’
They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing. Apperently there was an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after this conversation , for minor traffic collisions.
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What w as the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks…
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget…
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do…
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNES S: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death…
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them… The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Took a drive around Yamanashi today. Drove around the 5 lakes that are around Mount Fuji. As you can see it is winter time and there is still some ice on the lakes. Stopped and took some photos along the way and even saw some waterfalls. Here are the photos I took during this adventure.
This is a very nice souvenir photograph of 24 newly wedded couples in Enfield , near London…
I just hope, for their sake, that each husband goes home with the right tablecloth!
In 2012 both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day. This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication. The other involves a groundhog.
