Category: Humor

Amazing Discovery

Dave

Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.. The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it…

A Message from John Cleese

Dave

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”…

Dogs

Dave

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard…

In a Vacuum

Dave

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night… It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear…

Blonde on the Sun

Dave

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’ The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’ The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the…

Knitting

Dave

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the…

River Walk

Dave

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’ The second blonde looks up the river then down…

At the Doctor’s Office

Dave

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. ‘Impossible!’ says the doctor.. ‘Show me.’ The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed…

Speeding Ticket

Dave

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license…

Car Trouble

Dave

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, ‘What’s the story?’ He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’…

Florida or Moon

Dave

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?’ The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?…

Disneyland Blonde Joke

Dave

Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland Left. They started crying and turned around and went home. Related Posts Florida or Moon Sick of Blonde Jokes…

Speaking German in Texas

Dave

In Texas, there is a town named Fredericksburg, where there is a large German-speaking population. One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond. The…

Married Life

Dave

– The wife’s back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. – My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and…

Scottish Blood

Dave

A wealthy Arab Sheik required a rare blood type for heart surgery, and a Scotsman was found to be a suitable donor, willingly providing his blood for the procedure.

The Aisle Seat

Dave

Two individuals seated near a Royal Marine on a flight from London engaged him in a series of requests, leading to an unexpected discovery upon landing.

Difficult Things to Say

Dave

According to the article, words like ‘transubstantiate’ and ‘anti-constitutionalistically’ become exceptionally challenging to articulate after consuming alcohol, alongside phrases expressing polite refusals.

Book Report

Dave

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ and ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him…

Best T-shirt Ever

Dave

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Curliest Hair

Dave

A trivia contestant held a significant lead at a bar until a final question about hair texture proved challenging, ultimately costing them the win.